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My journal began in May of 1997, after a month spent reading Ceej and
Diane obsessively. I did three weeks of sporadic entries as I figured
out what I was doing, and then added myself to Open Pages and joined
the online diarists mailing list. Within a few months I was off the
mailing list again, but I kept on writing. On average there are twelve
entries a month, as I only wrote on relatively work-free weekdays.
During the last few months of the year I was largely miserable and
unwilling to face it; in retrospect this comes through to me in the
entries, but I'm not sure if it's there to be seen if one doesn't know
about it. My reasons were pretty simple; I was about to move to Los
Angeles to close the gap on a long-distance relationship, but in doing
so I was leaving behind friends that I loved, a place I'd grown
attached to, and (most painfully) a friendship that had turned into a
romance. I'd be moving back from LA in five months, but of course I
didn't know that at the time. I knew I ought to be excited, but most
of the time I felt like my world was ending, a feeling only made worse
by the resurfacing of some unpleasant childhood memories.
Things did, of course, get better.
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