15 July, 1997

And You Say...

Earl said a lot of interesting things this last weekend. Not that he doesn't usually, but somehow we seemed to have even more to say to each other than usual. You might think seeing each other frequently would cut down on our conversations, but it seems like our desire to talk to each other increases proportionately with how often we do it.

What I'm remembering, though, is Earl saying, 'People who read your journal might have this impression of me as some brilliant guy with a twisted sense of humour etc etc. Someday one of these people is going to meet me and go "Huh? I don't get it."'

And he's right, really. Earl is polite around people he doesn't know, but very quiet except for occasional wry comments. Around our friends he's much more talkative, but his conversation focuses almost exclusively on ideas. He's glad to listen to people, but he's much more interested in what they've been thinking than in what they've been doing.

If I think about it, I can remember what it was like for me to talk to him before I got to know him. I felt stupid, mostly. He talked about what he'd been reading and the new ideas it'd given him, and I never seemed to have anything to say to that. I ended up spending a lot of time silent and overwhelmed, and we had some amazingly quiet car rides before we started learning to interact with each other. Now, of course, we can talk and talk and talk without stopping, and my memories of him from two years ago seem to belong to a stranger. I know he's changed some. I know I've changed a lot.

I wonder if other people have that experience of Earl? I wonder if any of my other friends wonder what to say to him, and feel uncomfortable (but flattered) when his attention is on them? I don't think so, really. He does what all the Techers do; he just does it to a greater degree.

Rachel suggested a few months ago that, in having Chryse dislike Martin so much, I'm acting out my own anger about the near-worship half my friends seem to hold Earl in. I sort of wonder if she's right. How frighteningly sensible and healthy of me.

* * *

I got my exam from last week back and discovered that I'd made 42/50, which completely fails to suck. The next exam is tonight; I hope I do so well.

I'm currently reading Goedel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid by Douglas R. Hofstadter. I reccomend it very highly indeed, although it's probably not for everybody. The dialogues between chapters, though, are fabulous even if you're not into number theory.


©1997 Cera Kruger

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