I have been promising myself I would start my web-diary on 1 May for about a month now. So here I am, up too late and all typed-out from answering email, trying to write something coherent and stunning for my first entry.

Why am I doing this? Because I want to, which is really a good enough reason. I have a lot of others -- you've probably already read them, if you read the first page. They're all justifications, though; I have a hard time giving myself what I want. I'm getting better at it, with practise, but I still have to weave an elaborate web of justifications before I feel like I can allow myself anything.

Today was my third day at Cadence, and it's slowly starting to make sense. Little pools of order amid whirling chaos, mostly. Everything seems to be a complete mess in the IS group, but things seem to get done. What really surprises me is the number of things I've identified that I know could be improved. I think of myself as being good at tasks and poor at 'projects', but just looking at some of the procedures it's clear to me what needs to be refined. I wonder if I'll still be aware of these things once I have enough credibility to suggest them -- or will I have molded myself to the way things are being done now? I seem to remember some of this occuring at SGI; when I was first working there I could see all sorts of problems, but by the time anyone wanted to hear my opinion I'd had The SGI Way stamped into my brain.

I had lunch with Leanne, which was nice, although we ended up having only half an hour due to our various jobs -- she got there late, and I had to leave to finish an installation. We're both amused that we're working near each other, though; just last week we had lunch and bewailed the fact that we worked twenty minutes apart, and now we're right down the block from each other.

It's late, I'm tired, and there's a tabby cat demanding my attention. I'll simply note that Babylon 5 was neither particularly good nor bad tonight, and go get some sleep. I'm looking forward to Grass Valley tomorrow night; going to sleep listening to crickets is very soothing.