Well, after that very promising & enjoyable Friday night start I failed to write the rest of the weekend, mostly due to sheer exhaustion. Then I was going to write yesterday, but instead I ran around madly and didn't accomplish much and continued being exhausted. Today I'm only moderately tired, however, so here I am.

I didn't actually do a lot this weekend. Saturday we wandered around Stanford and admired the architecture, and I shamefully bought two books in the Stanford bookstore -- both on China. Saturday night my mom cooked, and then we hung out reading/talking/arguing (the latter about intelligence and genetics) until it was so late it was actually quite early. During most of this I was also playing Dungeon Keeper, a game I'm vaguely embarassed about being addicted to. The theory is that you're the evil nasty villain, building your dungeon underneath some pleasant peaceful village. You build a wonderful large dungeon with all the bad-guy amenities, mine enough gold to pay a bunch of monsters to hang out there, and when the inevitable heroes arrive your monsters go and destroy them. Plus there's various other villains trying to set up shop in the underworld, so you want to build a better dungeon than theirs, get more monsters, and go take over their domains.

It's addictive. It's horribly addictive. I played it for a while on Sunday, too, and only stopped because I desperately needed sleep. The competitive building aspect that appeals to me -- it's something I haven't found in a lot of other games. The 'revel in doing icky things' part severely squicks me, but with the sound effects turned off I can ignore it. I think if I had to play with the sound effects on I'd end up way uncomfortable with the whole thing.

I'm currently starting level eight of the original twenty-five. After that there's twenty-five more, in the expansion pack that came with the game. Each level is an hour or two, so finishing the game ought to be pleasantly long-term.

Sunday night I went to my second group session. My mom wasn't very happy about it, which upset me, but I figured I should go anyway. I angsted a lot at the beginning of the drive up, but Jim was patient, and once we got going I felt much better about it. Going was definitely the right thing to do.

Group itself was interesting. I talked a lot more than I expected to, and felt like I said everything wrong -- but at least I talked. I got very helpful advice from a cool person who I hope to end up being friends with. By the time it was over I felt drained, but still better than I had in a few days. Sort of like I'd been soaking in a hot bath -- that sort of pleasant relaxed energy drop. I burbled to Jim for most of the drive back.

Once home things were briefly awkward due to my mom's continued peevishness, but within fifteen minutes things were calm again. She was watching a 20/20 thing on Jonestown, focusing on interviews with Jim Jones' two sons. I was miserably fascinated. Group seems to leave me very vulnerable to outside information, which is one reason having Jim there afterwards is so important to me. Being vulnerable, I was thus easily squicked and horrified by the show. It wasn't just the subject matter -- although that was highly disturbing -- but also the way it was presented: photographs of bodies lying everywhere, an audio tape of children crying as they were poisoned, Jones' voice ranting about the beauty of death. Plus as added bonus disturbance there was footage of the sons talking about their experiences at Jonestown, including one of them breaking down and crying on repeated occasions.

Seriously icky. But I watched the entire program, fascinated in spite of myself, looking down at my game of Dungeon Keeper whenever things got too intense -- which was frequently. I should have just left the room, but I was interested in maintaining my mother's domestic tranquility. I wish balancing these things was easier.

At least I know about Jonestown now. This is a good thing. It gives me another good reason to laugh at people who don't believe cults exist.

That was Sunday. Monday I took my mom to the airport, then sleep-walked my way through work. Once home I watched last week's episode of Buffy, which was much better than one two weeks ago (with zombies and stupid dialogue). Now that Oz is a regular he and Willow get to be adorable together more often. I approve. And Charisma Carpenter (Cordelia) does get a credit, which pleases me. I like her.

After Buffy was Ally, which was also a pretty good episode. At least the horrible mind-numbing television I watch is good. That almost makes up for it being TV.

Then I slept. Not enough. Now I'm here, and still haven't gotten much work done. Too many meetings today. I should go close more statements.