It is a sleepy but healthy Cera who writes today, which is very different from the Cera who stumbled through last week in a daze, spending a lot of it sick in bed. You'd think I'd have more time to write when I'm sick, wouldn't you? And I do have time -- but no energy. I barely had energy to lie around reading. Which is odd, as I wasn't really that sick. Depressed, I think. Pretty much for all of last week.

I continue to puzzle over my complete uninterest in writing when I'm depressed/upset/anxious. I think it's because I know that putting things into words will make me all too aware of my emotional state. If I don't write about it then I can sort of calmly ignore it and do other things, like lie around reading and sleeping a lot.

Anyway. I'm better now. I'm back at work, I'm getting things done, I'm enjoying myself. I feel centred again. Thank goodness.

When I did have energy to read I read intently. Tuesday & Wednesday of last week I devoured all six of the Star Trek: New Frontiers novels, written by Peter David. Normally I have nothing but contempt for the Star Trek formula fiction churned out by the machine, but Rachel reccomended these strongly, so I thought I'd give them a try -- and wow, I'm glad I did. They're silly. They're shameless psychodrama, with complex romantic entanglements and high school angst all over the place. Plus they're really quick reads, especially if you're like me and skim the detailed combat sequences. Plus they actually have a sort of 'alternative' sexual relationship, in that one of the characters is a hermaphroditic alien, and shows no compunction in sleeping with humans of either gender.

Thursday I started rereading the Anne of Green Gables novels by L.M. Montgomery. These are really sweet books, and were exactly the right thing for being sick. The gushing prose made me think of Bryant, which caused me to giggle a lot. Amusingly enough, Marith picked up one of the books during the weekend, started flipping through it, and then stopped and said, "She gushes! Just like Bryant!". Much more giggling.

The other good thing about the Anne books is that they actually make me want to cook & clean. A nice change from my usual apathy -- but I still run into the time problem. When would I clean my house? When would I cook? The time between my coming home & going to sleep is usually filled with other things, such as weekly Wednesday gaming, the brand new Tuesday Hebrew lesson, and (occasionally) leisure. The nights I don't have to be somewhere (Monday, Thursday) I tend to work pretty late, because I almost always have more than I can do during a normal day, especially given all the meetings and other random things which eat at my coding time.

This is the same stuff I've always wondered about -- how am I supposed to work a challenging job, meet social obligations, and have time to be sufficiently domestic? Something always slips, and it's usually the domestic stuff. At least now I don't actually angst over it. If it slips, it slips. It's not hurting anyone.

Still. It'd be nice to have time to cook.

That was the week. Reading, sleep, being ill, going on special illness diet (clear liquids, white carbs, no dairy), feeling guilty. The weekend was occupied with being very hungry, more sleep, more reading. Sunday we went to the City, where I saw A Midsummer Night's Dream performed in Golden Gate Park. Lots of people were there -- me and Jim, Harold, Marith, Adam, Yair, Dave Flowers (who is likely moving up here, if he gets a job that'll make him happy), plus we ran into Chris & Wanda. Jim and I picked up Paul on the way to the park. Having him with us was pleasantly incongruous; Paul's a very different sort of person than most of our friends, and watching everyone interact amused me to no end.

After the performance people went various ways. Jim and I ended up having dinner with Paul at this marvelous Indonesian place that, back in December, Paul and Jim and Czr and I had eaten at. I had chicken in black sweet&sour sauce, which was probably awful for me but tasted so lovely I didn't care.

We took Paul home and went to Yair's, where we met up with Harold, Marith, and Yair. They hadn't had dinner yet, so after some discussion & much admiring of Yair's fine loft we headed to Max's for quick dessert while they ate. I ended up having a brownie, and tried very hard not to covet Jim's mud pie. Once we were done eating we bid everyone farewell and zoomed home, at which point I fell over.

A good weekend, all in all. I could have done with less illness, but at least the annoying diet seems to have cured me. Jim threatened to take me for ice cream tonight, so we'll see.