March 20, 1998

Malevolent Dream w/ Happy Ending?

Really odd dream last thing in the morning. Though I guess I shouldn't have been surprised after watching three episodes of Buffy in a row. It was about a huge, elaborate theme park, gorgeous, with lots of extraordinary rides, built on incredible land with lovely scenery and owned by an old woman that hated every other human being, especially those stupid enough to play in or work at her park. She had the park to drain the money away from all the stupid, poor idiots that would throw money away in such a way.

In the dream, she also had an incredibly powerful and malevolent power over all the folks that worked for her or visited the park. I watched a fairly earnest working man get haunted by the old woman as he went through the park, and as he realized that things were badly wrong there, things just got worse for him. He befriended a nice widow who was a waitress in one of the park's restaurants, and hopelessly set about trying to get her free of the place. Part of the hopelessness was from seeing all the people that either died or were addicted to the park, and a slow realization that the old woman was everywhere.

The old woman had no respect for the poor, and like playing with her puppets. She liked terrorizing those that were helpless to do anything about it and she really liked toying with that poor working man.

Whatever she paid attention to was completely under her control, somehow. And she could make any death look accidental and any accident look natural. She was frighteningly powerful. At one point the man looked up at the ceiling of the tiny apartment that the nice waitress had, and she was explaining how her husband had died in an auto crash and that while she had survived just fine, that the docs had warned her that there might be some spinal damage. He saw that up on that ceiling was an image of a bunch of letters, which spelled out everything she was telling him. They were, originally, a line that contained her and her husbands names, but the letters for the husband had been scattered, and that the letters that were still up there were turning, one by one, into the word 'immobile'.

He was just terrified at his new knowledge. That the old woman controlled things through letter strings like that... each flip of a letter was the slow torture way of her control. The two slept together, and the next morning, the woman went to work, and the next thing is a picture of the letters spelling the working man's name being tossed into the air... and underlaying the scattered letters is the image of the man falling, screaming, to his death. He had known.

But at the same time of his death, the waitress was being spoken to. By me. I'd followed the man's thoughts and so knew the secret, too. The things that I knew that he hadn't was that the old woman's attention could only land on one person at a time, and by sneaking around her attention, I was doing my best to save the ones that I could. Bit by bit, person by person, tiny, mouse-style action by scittering action.

Beautiful, brilliant day, today. Hope it lasts through the weekend, but you know the old joke in Seattle, "What do you call a day of sunshine after two days of rain?" "Monday."

Okay. Maybe you didn't know it, as it's particular to the area. In some ways. Raven had a gorgeous description of Seattle in a previous entry. Wow. Keen. I'm glad he found his love again, too. Read that boy's entry for the 18th, too, it made *me* cry.

Kinda wish I could find that with Mark, again, but then Mark seems to have gotten to a point where he thinks he has nothing 'new' to offer me. Kinda wish he could see that I don't want anything new, just who and what he is is plenty for me. But I've already offered him that opening, it's up to him to take it, as ever. That was why, for nearly a year, his entry in my people page had, "And I am still waiting." I'll keep waiting, that's okay.

In the meantime, I'll enjoy the love I have, who aren't so shy about their merits. *laughter*

Slide day, today, to get slides together for someone else to take with them to training in San Jose. I don't get to go this time, but it's a good things as the training days clash with my pre-op appointment with Dr. Thayer. Sadly, I won't get to play with the Horde the way I kinda wanted to at the end of the month, when Donji gets to be on Spring Break. And after the surgery I have no idea when I'll be able to travel again. But Bryant, Angie and Marith are coming up the week before the surgery to visit and do a massive road trip in Bryant's new car. That should be fun.

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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