November 4, 1997

The dreams are getting more active, now. I'm not sure what that ever means, other than, maybe I'm just not sleeping well, or something.

The one on Monday morning was pretty keen. I was a corporate mage in a Shadowrun world, where much of the magic is used in corporations to do product research and other things that are harder without being able to break some laws of physics. I was happy and solid and I had two daughters, Rowen and Ash, who were both magically precocious girls. The father had left a while back, unable to take the three of us, so I was raising the girls with the steady help of the corporation. It worked, we were mostly happy. I had some interesting things to do, and the work, and more importantly, the benefits were steady.

Then my girls disappeared for a few days, and the arcology's security couldn't find them, couldn't trace them, couldn't get them back for me. So much for security. Then, one day, as I got back from work, I opened the door and there was an elf in my room.

In Shadowrun elves aren't just pretty, Power for Good, gorgeous and polite. There is the history of times when the elves killed of an entire town because a mortal man there raped an elven woman. "You animals may do as you please to yourselves, but leave people alone." They were true eco-terrorists, fighting guerilla wars in the Amazon jungles against human corporations trying to keep them for cattle. Elves mostly consider mortal being as animals, so quick to die that they cannot earn a Name that will be remembered and kept alive afterwards. Stories, language are both exceedingly important to them. The new elves are both immortal and never sleep, and in some ways are more terrible than the trolls or monsters because they are so inhuman, so beautiful, and so powerful in their own way.

And when I stepped in through that door, I knew that I should be terrified that a non-human had intruded so deeply within the corporate security. But I couldn't be. He was being very decidedly cool about it when he said, "Madame. Would you please come with us to help raise your children in the ways of Magic?"

But I could hear the franticness under his words. They were my children, you understand. It gave me some measure of what they might be doing if they had been taken unwilling.

I simply smiled sweetly and thought. If I said no, it would be hard to see them again. If I said yes, I would see them, and be far, far away from home, possibly ever again. Not a bad thing to be out of the corporation. So, instead of answering, and without binding myself to any agreement, I moved around the apartment, gathered the things both Rowan and Ash would want most, including a stuffed, plush toy elephant for Ash, my opal spell lock for combat sense, and a few elemental kits for Rowan and myself. And we went...

I woke up then.

The more I think, the more I replay it in my head, I wonder...

Should I be leaving corporate life to follow my children of magic and fantasy, to live with the elves for a while?

This morning, I had another dream. Of the whole pack of us Synario folks being part of a crew for a space ship, and that we were informed that the ship was going to take off at a certain hour. I played solitaire through the first launch, and Bob D., one of the junior engineers here came by after launch time, saw me playing solitaire and shook his head saying, "And I thought I had you figured out." He'd come by to tell me that the launch had been delayed yet again to later that day, and he said that he'd come by to tell me about that one, too. That's when I woke up.

Maybe I just shouldn't go for the 'launch', maybe it's a dream that points me at the fact that the coming thing is doomed. Carl said that it sounded like it might be doomed, but wished me luck anyway. Thing is that all I can really count in my head is all the ways that it'll likely be doomed, and they're all ways that are fairly convincing, which is why I gave the picture I did, likely, to Carl. I have thought of good things as well, but most of them are good things only if the new head management an be convinced; and I'm not at all sure that it's possible.


They may just be nothing more than dreams. Though, often, dreams are my subconscious and even my conscious mind working on problems that I don't get to during the day. I still remember holding a coding problem in my head as I went to sleep and waking up with the solution in the morning. It happens more often than not, and John and Bob H. and I went to Billy McHales last night to talk through all our possibilities. Amusingly enough we learned from Bob that the list of the bunch of us that had gone out looking for venture capital without the CEO's approval, had been put on a Black List that was given to the company that's thinking of buying us and they were told that we would be 'trouble' for them. Problem is that the names on that list are the core of the product, and we went out for money because we truly believed we could succeed if we were given the resources to Make It So.

Sleepy, tired, and I woke up this morning feeling like I really should just be dying of a cold. I took some allergy medication to see if it would clear things up, and it hasn't, so I'm likely pretty sick. I might just skip the deacon's meeting tonight, and sleep or something.

John got me a mocha, and while it feels really good, I'm not entirely sure if it's helping or not. So much more to do.

Well, did call to say that I wouldn't make it to the meeting, but it wasn't because I was sick. It's nearly eight and I'm still at work, and there are things that both John and I have to catch up and finish... so there's still stuff to figure out. I'm still getting more and more slides done and more and more material covered, and it's still amusing me greatly. But it's not fun anymore. So I'm having to push myself harder than I really want to, oh well.

One good thing is that my hands don't hurt much after the weekend of not doing anything with my hands. Adam of the Horde also said that Naturally Speaking takes on some of the language and grammer patterns a person gets, so that would be keen.

The old DragonDictate is kinda intimidating as it has twenty floppy disks for installation and so *many* commands... but it might not be a bad thing to use... and do...

Finally refound the library I'm using. I'm hungry for fried chicken, though, so we'll have to see what there is to see about going home and eating... Maybe I should have found the KFC coupons and just used those. Food would be good, now.

© 1997 by Liralen Li

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