While I was writing in here yesterday I was wondering just what it is that causes me to quit writing in here for days and weeks at a time, since when I'm writing every day (well, every weekday) I enjoy it so much. Today I remember one way that it happens; when I got in this morning I decided to put off writing in here until 'later', and later kept not coming. Finally I noticed that I was doing that, and logged in, but it's pretty late in the afternoon now. The useful thing learned here; open up a window to my journal first thing, even if I'm not going to have time to write immediately & end up having to re-open it (stupid time-outs) two or three times. Seeing it every time I flip to this desktop reminds me to start writing.

And what is there to write about today? Well, Purim starts tonight, which means that today is the Fast of Esther. I tried observing it, but around 2pm my body insisted that I feed it Right Now Or Else, so I gave in and had some crackers with muffaletta (olives and peppers and vinegar) on them, and a peanut butter girl scout cookie, and a coke. Thank goodness for food; I was starting to feel a bit overwhelmed and run down, and putting calories into my body fixed that pretty quickly. Also, I get really anxious when I (feel like I) can't eat. Passover is really, really hard that way, since it's eight days of limited diet. The reality is that there's still tons of stuff I can eat, but with my food choices limited and restaurants right out, I spend the entire holiday obsessing over food, positive that I'm somehow going to starve to death, gazing longingly at every restaurant I go by, even those that I would never actually eat at. It's bizarre, and I'm sure there's some real reason for it, but I don't have the faintest idea what it is. One of those mysteries.

Ooh, Yan just showed up in my cube waving Martin Fowler's Refactoring book, which he saw on the bookshelf and was reminded that I wanted to read back in January. Which I did, and do, but I think I need to finish the UML book first, and that is taking quite a bit of time. In order to do it properly I have to sit down with a notebook and take a lot of notes about the examples, really making sure that I understand as much of it as I can. I might not use UML any time soon, but I want to make sure I grasp it instead of just skimming the book and only catching the high points -- or in this case the bolded points.

The BAMM scholarship comittee orientation went really, really well for me. I feel a bit overwhelmed at the responsibility involved, but also excited; this is such a direct way to make a difference in people's lives and to connect with them. I took someone's application home from the meeting with me, and am going to try to phone them next week.

And man, I'm tired. If it wasn't Purim tonight I wouldn't go to temple -- okay, that's an obvious statement. How about "I wish tonight wasn't a holiday so I could just go home and collapse?". But festivity calls.