Today is a high-stress day. A guy from a company I'm looking at called last night, while I was digesting delicious chili and studying Japanese, and calling him back this morning turned into a very frustrating phone interview -- all because when he said "Do you have time to talk?" I said "Yes" instead of "No". This is one of those things that comes from a lack of attention; I was calling him back as a thing on my to do list before I came into work, expecting to get voicemail, and was completely unprepared for a live human who wanted to talk to me. I feel a bit foolish about it all, but also very solid in understanding that I need to pay attention in these cases. The whole interview went very poorly for me because I was in the wrong headspace for it, and if I had just said, "No, how about another time?" it all would've been much more pleasant. I want to remember this.

Strangely, he wants to bring me in for a face-to-face interview anyway.

Jim's parents did arrive safely, as the above notes, and there was nice chili, but as predicted I didn't see much of them other than that. I was really exhausted, and curled up in my bedroom surrounded by Japanese and my laptop (which Jim installed a wireless network card in on Friday night, thus allowing me to be on the network from anywhere in the house). I alternated Japanese with reading websites about Tokyo Babylon (a manga series by CLAMP that I'm becoming increasingly fascinated by) and downloading music from the same. It was all very peaceful and serene, which I needed, and moreover it was a little bit of healing, to be able to take the time and space for myself to study despite people visiting. Tonight after the final we're watching a movie in class, which could be cool, but I might instead go home and demonstrate my ability to be social. We shall see.

Once today is over I have a break, a beautiful 7 days without anything to do except all the usual things, going to work and two exciting dinners this weekend, one at Straits Cafe with Chris* for helping them move, and theoretically Fondue this Sunday for Susan's birthday. And the library book sale on Sunday as well, which should be delightful; hundreds of paperback books being sold for 50 cents each is just wonderful, and I always pick up tons of things that I'd never pay full or even half price for, simply because at that price it's worth taking a lot of risks. If I don't like them I can always give them back to the library for the next book sale, after all.

After a recent mailing list discussion I'm pondering how to organise my 'books to read' pile, both the non-fiction and the fiction. It's not really a pile; they've all been mixed in with my other books and shelved. Maybe I ought to start making some sort of list of them, so I actually read some of the books in my house. It'd also make the library sales more fun, since I'd have better ideas of what to pick up.

It's almost 2. We have a meeting at 2. Which I have to leave at 2:40 so I can be at my Very Important Appointment by 3. Anxiety is trying to settle in; I can feel it pressing at my ribcage with every breath I take. I hate these moments, anticipating something nervousmaking... I know the actuality will be fine. Both the actuality of getting out of the meeting and the actuality of the appointment. But the waiting is hell.