Well, after a nice long period of calmly shoving my recovery stuff into the background it has jumped up and bitten me again. I'm intensely nervous today, starting at shadows, and having a miserable time concentrating. Somehow, though, the work gets done; I guess my fierce narrow-focus of the last few weeks has turned into a habit that's paying off now. Lucky me.

The nerves are mostly because I finally attended my first session of group therapy last night. It was incredible, but so intense, so overwhelming. Society never lets us show our emotions in group situations, and to be in a group of women who were discussing deeply emotional topics and reacting openly to the discussion -- wow. I wasn't prepared for that, but it felt good. I'm looking forward to going back.

Also, though, it made all my stuff real to me again. A reminder that my problems are real and aren't going away just because I ignore them. Which is good; I'm more myself when I'm aware of everything that's going on with me than I am when I'm being shallowly cheerful. The Whole Cera project continues.

My mom appears on Friday. Come to think of it, this is making me nervous as well.

Jim found me a lovely Eno collection while in Berkeley Sunday -- the Brian Eno Desert Island Selection. It's selections of his stuff from 1973-1978, so it's mostly things I already have, but it does include stuff from Another Green World (which I own but have never listened to due to it still being packed), and Taking Tiger Mountain, which has such a fascinating name that I've been dying to hear the album. Plus it has a track from Music for Airports, which I (sigh) still haven't listened to due to continually leaving it at home.

Anyway. The new CD is a serious win. The last two tracks are "Taking Tiger Mountain" and "1/1" (the latter being the track from Music For Airports), and the two go together beautifully. My interest in owning everything Brian Eno has ever done has increased dramatically again. I really need to dig up my copy of AGW. And buy Taking Tiger Mountain. And listen to Music for Airports.

First, however, I must write much more code. The end hovers just out of sight.

Jim was wonderful in Berkeley. I thought I'd mention that.