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February 16, 1999
a year ago

Pieces

It's pretty crazy what a difference new carpet made to the house. Especially the stair well, which is much, much lighter. Fezzik got loose in the night and was curled up on the carpet by his bed, he's very confused as to why we're asking him to not sleep where he's slept for years and years and years. Poor kid. Probably good for him in the long run as he'll get used to being moved around a bit.

Work wasn't very useful. Just got there, caught up on email and stuff and then started dictating notes into Word for the interviews. I guess the latter bit was quite useful, but it was boring in some ways. No brain work.

We did get the second offer in for the house. I felt just a bit odd, though, as we were working off knowledge that the selling realtor gave us that the wife said what the minimum they would accept would be, rather than thinking up another offer number ourselves. That felt really odd, in some respects, as it felt like taking advantage of what should have been confidential information. Though she had told the agent that in order, I think, to convey it to us and tell us what they expected. So it wasn't really a breaking of a trust, but it just felt kinda weird.

Got home and interviewed Ross, the realtor that was recommended by a co-worker because he specialized in the Plateau. That was cool. He's sharp, very marketing in approach and does the things that, after five days of intense house hunting, make a ton of sense to us. So I'm already kinda biased towards him. He seems to know what's up around us and in the area, and what's sold, what's on the market and what our competition will be. It was interesting to see it in that light.

I'll admit that one thing really, really got me to like him, and that was that he told us, explicitely to never, ever tell him what we would 'settle for' on a price for the house. He just didn't want to know and he didn't want to lose us money by knowing. He understood human nature and if he knew, then he'd likely say with all the interaction that goes on between agents. This hit that note of dissonance that I'd gotten from the earlier stuff well enough that I'm really starting to get biased towards using him.

Afterwards, I pulled the dusty sewing maching from the storage area, wiped it off with a wet paper towel, and then plugged it in and started sewing together quilt pieces. Barbara had given John the bag of pieces when he taught Sunday school last Sunday and it was very mind-soothing to just sit there and sew bits of cloth together. Admittedly, it was harder on my hands than I wanted it to be; but it helped me concentrate on something other than the whole thought of leaving the house, leaving my life here and starting a whole new one.

I think I've come to the decision that I'm going to get through all this. It's going to just come one step at a time, and I can definitely get through all the steps. Just so long as I believe I can, I'll at least try. If I start letting the feelings of being overwhelmed really overwhelm me and stop putting one thing in place at a time, I'm just going to fall apart and stop. But if I just keep enough courage for each step, I'll get there.

I've never pieced together a quilt before. Barbara, at church, has been running a quilting group for longer than I've been alive, and it was really cool to be sent stacks and stacks of triangles that fit together neatly of really cool colored fabrics. I really liked that, and it was simple, semi-random as to which pieces went with which, as the color schemes of the whole were so strong. All the smaller triangles were beige and all the larger triangles were brilliantly colored, so the differentiation was good enough at that level for the rest of the pattern to work. What was kinda neat was that at the smallest level things were very simple, just sew two little triangles of the same cloth onto one bigger triangle. At the larger level, these small, simple blocks would be combined into something that would take 32 of these things and become something beautifully complex.

Maybe that's a cool metaphor for life. This whole move thing is a large, intricately complex kinda thing; but each step, flying to Boulder, getting into the hotel room, seeing each house, figuring how what kinds of things I wanted to see, etc., is simple in and of itself.

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