January 22, 1998

Slept in deeply this morning, did wake up for just a bit as John got up to go to work, but went back to sleep with Fezzik sleeping at the foot of the bed in the guest room. He has been keeping fairly close to me ever since I went down, when he could. It's been interesting watching him.

I stayed in bed until the Podietrist called, a Dr. Knight, who talked with me for a bit and then sent me to his office manager, who set up the appointment for Monday. Turns out that they really can't tell what isn't there until after the swelling goes down. He also said that these kinds of injuries don't hurt that much, what is lost is control of the joint, so that it was very important for me to keep up my muscle tone while not allowing my knee to go sideways and damage things anymore, so that in a few days, getting on an exercise bicycle would actually be a good thing to do to keep muscle tone and not baby the leg too much.

But, man, the leg is really stiff today, and it's scary in some ways and it's painful if I stand on it too long or wander about the house too much. So I mostly just got up, put my contacts in, brushed my teeth, found some of John's lasagna and then ate, drank, and then lay on the couch in front of the TV and watched Super Bowl synopsis for a few hours. Been using the kitchen steps as kinda a walker, and it helps and been trying to do what the doctor recommended, which is put as much weight as it will take on it, but not too much more, so long as it's in the brace.

That's actually working out okay.

So odd to come back and then have myself taken out of normal life so quickly. The things that bother me now are the small things, the things that I would normally be able to do, but cannot do now. That's what scares me, and it's as small as keeping my balance as I get on the toilet. Not one of those things that I would have thought of when I thought of knee injuries, before.

I may bundle up and go and watch the game tonight, or I might be sane and just stay home and keep icing my knee. But it would be good to get some air and see Fezzik run around and not make the injury something that stops my life completely. It is going to change it for a while, but I think I'll steal back any bit of life that I can.

Yeah, I know, it's not nearly as bad as it could have been, no broken joint bone pieces and it's not like all the ligaments and tendons tore or anything, and it'll get better, but the annoyances of the day are the annoyances of the day and I'll get through 'em. It's just semi-grumpy making when I have to get across them.

Heh. Small favors is that the kitchen steps make a good carrying platform for carrying things like tea in the travel mug that Fezzik gave me, and so I can have tea wherever I go. *grin* The small favors are, likely, also the best ones.

So I'm mostly just sitting in my work room at home, with my foot propped up on the kitchen steps, and the heat set back on so that I don't freeze in my shorts, which are the only things I can really wear with the darned knee brace. That'll be fun tomorrow, at work, to wear shorts in with John. *laughter* John says that I just want to show off my knee brace.

In some ways it's interesting to note that I was right in my assessment of the injury. If I'd waited to go see the doctor, I would have likely gone nuts today with the pain. I'm glad that we picked to go to the emergency room and know what was going on with my joint and get the help that it needed. Having the brace is making all the difference between hobbling around the house and being able to at least take care of myself and huddling in my bed all day, with very harrowing trips for absolutely necessary things. The way my knee crunched last night when I put the weight on it wrong really convinced me that I'd done the right thing by getting the brace.

So I'll get through this, a day at a time, even in this small way of getting hurt.

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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