January 29, 1998

It's a grey day today. I can see the clouds moving by, as I'm in the test lab here, and doing tests on suites of things that take a while to process as they go. So I stop and start and then stop again, and take a little time to write here as I go. So forgive the discontinuities, please.

The knee is better again today, though I'm still not getting that good a sleep. Snoring a lot, John says, but he is kind enough not to wake me, but I wonder if I sleep as well when I snore. My left shoulder and arm are really sore today, possibly from when I pulled it when I was getting myself into the Range Rover. There's a long way up to go when I get in, so I'm having to lever myself up. The whole body is compensating for the leg, so I can kinda see why Dr. Knight was saying that one could lose up to 50% of the muscle mass in the leg in the first two weeks if one babied the leg. It's only been a week, but I'm actually walking on it pretty well, and going up stairs quite well. Going down is more of a problem as the leg just isn't bending.

Which makes me more inclined to believe that the ligament is damaged badly, as that's where it is and there is usually more swelling about damaged areas. The MRI appointment is made for Monday evening about 5pm or so. I show up around 5pm and they actually do it around 5:30 and it'll take about half an hour after that, so we'll be out of there around 6pm. Promised John that I'd buy him dinner if I made it that far, in Seattle. Downtown has so many great places to eat, it would be a shame to miss that.

The MRI clinic is in the basement of the Group Health Central complex, and it's on Capital Hill, where I had my piercing adventure, so I might go to the Pink Triangle, talk with them about why I have to remove my jewelry and make an appointment that evening for them to put it back in if that's necessary. It'll be nearly three weeks, and the ring is still getting stuck now and again after a few hours. Would be kinda cool to have John along for that adventure.

In the meantime, it's been fascinating watching the construction machinery so close to the windows here, so much like gigantic Tonka toys rooting about in the dirt, colossal, lumbering and lurching creatures with jaws that could crush me like a melon. They're so keen. They drive them pretty much like a boy driving them around for fun, moving earth in great bit mounds in all directions and often with little logic to those that are watching. They dug this neat trench right next to our windows, one day, being very careful not to damage the tree there, the next day, they ripped out all the landscaping in front of the windows, uprooting and carting away the very tree they were so careful of the day before. Then they brought the level of the ground out there nearly level with the bottoms of the windows, and the next day brought in truckloads of dirt to build it back up to nearly the top again.

One wonders why, sometimes. At others it's good to just revel in the sheer immensity of the whims they act on.

John made lasagna for me last night. Took him a few hours, but he enjoyed the doing, I think. I got to flip channels, and one of the images that caught at me was that of a hawk hunting in a cloud of small birds. The flock had, probably because of the hawk, taken off, making a cloud of small birds in the air, and the hawk was swooping, diving, grabbing nearly at random, trying to get a bird and constantly missing. Finally the hawk just folded its wings, dove and grabbed a passing bird when it had gotten to a speed that the little bird couldn't just duck away from him. It was astonishing to watch.

Year of the Tiger. Yesterday was the New Year, and it came upon us with no fanfare but a few cards. That was keen. Raven says that he sees something of the tiger within me, though in terms of Hobbes, with him as Calvin. *grin* Not a bad thing. It's good to be seen to have a sense of humor and a sense for what is, even as one is flying down hillsides on the snow.

Never really knew what Chinese people did on Chinese New Years, though there is some indication that folks give kids in the family money in red envelopes. Firecrackers and parades, dragons and drums and noisemakers to make the evil spirits afraid of entering the new year. My knee came with me. It often feels odd that it's getting to much better, as if it's a lie of sorts, I guess, because even as it feels better it really isn't any better and isn't going to get better unless I do something that may be bad to it.

John's brother Paul, the doctor, wrote me email that helped. Said that the surgery itself isn't that big a deal. What take a while and takes some patience is the rehab afterwards. Chrisber was good and wished me a speedy recovery, even if that meant that it might be in terms of months rather than years. Not a bad wish. Fewer months would be good. As it is, I'm looking at likely having just enough flexibility to hit the stationary bike this weekend and burn some of this sit-around energy off. That would be good as it's building to a point where I'm getting more irritable more easily than usual.

Tea helps. Just the small rituals help. Testing and beating on the software isn't helping, as it's more of a destructive bent than a constructive bent. I'm trying to see what breaks things, though knowing how things are built does help and make that easier, it is a very different mindset and targeting than I am used to having. Make it stop working rather than making it work, and do it consistently.

I'll admit, it's more fun watching the buildings getting raised...

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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