July 7, 1997

Eh... I'm being rushed from work to soccer again, so I probably won't have the time that I wanted to clarify and sharpen the point...

But after four days of a sf con I'm finally tired of hopelessness and despair, if sitting around on my butt and mourning the past and what I haven't done and what I could have done and what I should have done... Much better to just do, no? Spider Robinson says it all very much better than I can.

There's a line by the Indigo Girls about agonizing so much that the agony becomes a burden which cannot be borne, and so I've been.

Steve Barnes was at WesterCon, a cheerful, marvelous man who teaches and lives with passion, and it's an element of my own life that I used to have, used to keep, used to cherish and feed with all the beauty that falls thorugh my life, and it's time to go back to that. Feed the part of me that just stops and wonders at all the beauty around me, including all the tiny elements of my life. The clouds reminded me of that, yesterday... clouds of a thousand shades of white to grey to black all flowing in chaotic masses across the running sky...

Today I had a design review for a piece of work that I think will be fun to write when I actually figure out what it is that it's supposed to do. Funny that, software design with a real design...

Life's mostly been software, soccer, and that's about it, since the carpal tunnel hit, and I've been sitting around desparing and doing nothing for way too long, thinking of my wrists as a complete and utter stopping point rather than a 'slow down' signal. And it's time to start to do things again, with more focus, with more thought, and fewer, better chosen words.

© 1997 by Liralen Li

[ Index | Next ]