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May 12, 2000
a year ago
two years ago

Resolutions

Wednesday was resolutions day, on the most part. Got the last of my changes all done, triply tested, and then reviewed before the end of the day. Also Ryan got a good handle on what was happening with the demonic bug with a lot of talking with me and other folks. He finally found the actual cause and tomorrow we'll likely deal with it. So when John invited me to have dinner at the European Cafe in Boulder with half a dozen French men, four Canadians, and a few folks from San Jose, I said sure.

Jeff, one of the guys from San Jose, is really, really, really into wines; and since I was actually done with things and feeling kinda weird about it I decided to taste all four of the wines that he eventually picked. All reds, half of them actually from France as they were pretty good, and the waiter, as usual, poured just a bit too much, for me, of the first. It was fun to watch Jeff taste them, as he is really, really, really into it the way Singer is into everything; but he's also a good deal more arrogant than Singer about it all. I had fun watching and listening to the back and forth between him and the waiter on the first tasting of the first wine, as it was terribly acidic and he nearly sent it back. It was, actually, the first time I'd ever realized that that was possible. That one could order a wine and if one really didn't like it, could just send it back.

The dinner itself was interesting. I did ask the waiter, since they were supposed to be modelled on an European bistro if they did a blue rare or a regular rare, and got some interesting stares from my tablemates. One of which said, "Wow. You like it still moo'ing, don't you?" Since a blue rare has the center still cold, versus an American rare which has the center good and red but warm, I couldn't really argue with him. I did, however, ask for the regular rare. Tenderloin has so little flavor compared to other cuts because it is so low fat, that it's best as rare as one can take it to add flavor to some of the tenderness. When I cut into mine, however, it was only a medium rare. The waiter had mistakenly given me the medium rare asked for elsewhere at the table, and he eventually gave me a fresh steak and the other guy a good medium rare steak.

Yes. I am trying to lose weight.

No. I'm not going to stop eating good stuff.

Just less of it and with deliberate choices, every time, for something that is simply less fat than I normally would have. I figure I'd never be able to do like Ceej did, a while ago, that liquid diet thing seems way too much like punishment to me, rather than just being conscious. The pork tenderloin is also pretty lean, but they also serve it with a mound of garlic mashed with lots of butter and while it was really good the last time, the beef would give me the iron I probably keep needing, and had leaner sides. Dessert was actually a few bites of John's dessert, which turned out delicious. He had a little chocolate cake with molten chocolate inside and a nice raspberry puree to top and the whole was very nice indeed.

I had fun intriguing people, as well, with my decaf dry cappaccino. No one had heard of a dry cap before, and it was amusing to be regarded as an odd coffee person because of it. How much simpler can a shot of espresso with just some milk foam on top be?

Fezzik was being picky about his eats all week. It was worrying me a bit more after Sunday morning and the weight loss that he'd suffered last week. Or a whole lot more. Anyway. We both tried a lot of different things through the week to get Fezzik to eat his medication, his food, and other things as well. Treats galore, and he seemed to enjoy everything other than his normal food, so I didn't really have much more logical reason for worrying.

Thursday morning everything got all wrapped up neatly with a ribbon on top. Nice that. Debbie struck at my weakest moment and asked if I wanted to go to the knitting shop with her. She'd been working on a beautiful cotton t-shirt with a really gorgeous stitch pattern that worked really crisply with the cotton yarn. I wanted one of those. My hands had felt pretty good since my visit with Geoff. Summer is coming and it's going to be a real scorcher and something as light and beautiful as the cotton shell she was working on seemed really, really, nice. So I was weak and I went there with her and I bought fourteen balls of Mad Magenta.

Got started on the sweater that night.

And, sure enough, by the weekend, my wrists and arms were starting to knot up again. So I slowed down.

During the afternoon, because I'd finished and there really wasn't anything specific that I had to tackle, I went and rode the exercise bicycle downstairs and then did weights and a back exercise to help strengthen the very back muscles that CeLena has to pound out every other week. Hopefully that'll help in the long run. The extra exercise also helped make me feel better and might also help with the weight gain thing. I don't want to rely on it, however, as I know that when I have, in the past, I've only gained more muscle rather than losing any weight.

Friday was a wash.

John's last day at work for the next two weeks, so we stayed a little late to let him clean the last things up. The demonic bug was completely done and fixed and tested and reviewed within an inch of its life and it looks good. My dreams are settling down, but I'm still exhausted all the time. Fezzik still gets up too early and I was worried about him losing more weight.

My times with Geoff have been, since the visit, just really, really good. We haven't fought, haven't had problems when we've disagreed and we've talked through some tough stuff without rancor or problems. Even when I was crabby or tired or whiny or even more needy than I should have been he was pretty patient with me; and I was good the days when he needed me to be. That's worked out really, really well. Friday, though I was depressed from the let-down from all the stress of the weeks before and very anxious about Fezzik and Geoff handled me okay and even got me to cheer up some.

Turns out Fezzik hadn't lost any weight in the last week. The scales read exactly what they did last time and after talking with the vet some, he wasn't worried about Fezzik not eating for a while or with him having momentary digetive problems. That helped me feel a whole lot better. We did our ice cream thing, as usual, and I got the small portion instead of the medium or the big sundaes and that was satisfying. So what we did for Fezzik during the week was good enough and it seems that he should do okay if we keep this going.

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