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November 30, 2000
a year ago
three years ago

Unhappiness And Distractions

Tired this morning. I don't know really why. Listless a little and my right hand hurt a lot when I woke up. John was good and made breakfast for me, and I was glad to eat it. Spent the morning over my mangled design document, peering at it and trying to put it back together. I also had to do all the minutes for a meeting this afternoon, and between the two documents, I managed to make my hands really unhappy with me on top of the stuff from yesterday.

My hands felt so bad by lunchtime that I decided that I had to get an ace bandage to keep the ice packs on my hands instead of the improvisational things I was doing to keep the packs on my hands. Since I had a meeting at 1 PM, I left around 11:30 and went directly to Target. I knew exactly where the first aid supplies were, and was walking directly there when a lady asked me if I wanted to save 20 percent on my purchases of today. Since I knew I was probably going to spend less than five dollars on my bandage, it really seemed no bargain, so politely said no and walked on. I couldn't find a normal Ace bandage, their only seem to be the self-adhesive type, and the four inch wide bandages were less money than the three inch wide bandages, so I got one of those figuring that the wider bandage wouldn't be a problem since I wasn't looking for support, I was only looking for the ability to hold the ice pack securely to my arm.

I got out of there fairly quickly, and managed to get across Pearl fairly easily. Whole Foods was over there. I really needed a lunch that didn't have much salt, wasn't too fatty, and, hopefully, was largely composed of vegetables. I was getting tired of the Asian strain of food that we have been going through, though it was my own fault for doing dumplings twice a week. I really wanted roasted eggplant, possibly roasted sweet peppers, some kind of cheese or maybe two kinds of cheeses, all toasted together between flat Italian bread in a panini. Sadly, the Italian hot food area didn't have Panini at all, but they did have a grilled eggplant sandwich with mozzarella and marinera sauce. So I got that instead. They also had, among the baked goods, a very nice fruit tart with fresh kiwi, strawberries, and a few raspberries. So I got that as well as a bottle of organic apple juice. A very Whole Foods type of lunch.

It all tasted really good when I ate it at work. Though I saved the tart for later, because I didn't have the room. I then went through my marathon of three hours worth of meetings, and finally ended up bandaging an ice pack to my right hand, which was all marshmellow like. Everyone stopped me to ask what was wrong with my arm. It's just ice, I kept saying. Nothing really wrong, it's just swelling 'cause of the pregnancy and ice brings the swelling down. John noted that I looked like a line backer with my forearm all taped up huge. That made me giggle.

I decided that I was going to work at home, eventhough Fezzik seemed to be doing just fine without me, it would be good to be home while he was home and I could pet him and spoil him in the morning, when he really wanted to be left inside instead of going back out. John was a sweetie and took my machine out to the car. As I was getting ready to go Bill stopped me to tell me that he was going to change one of the scripts I had been using to get all of my build materials. He was going to add a great deal of functionality, and copy a whole lot more files that I really needed simply because he thought that that was how it should work. I objected. Strenuously. Especially since he said he was going to replace the old script with his new one rather than building an entirely different script for the additional functionality.

On the way home, I complained to John about that particular situation, which triggered my feelings about the whole situation. Bill has a tendency to complain about everything, and then assumes that any other user would think the way he does, without asking. For me that is the number one sin of any GUI designer, assuming that the user model one has in one's head is the only true one and not testing against other mindsets. I know he means well, and that he is trying to fix a situation that he finds unbearable, but to break everyone else simply to satisfy his sense of how things ought to be just made me really mad. It also didn't help knowing that Bill thinks most everything is broken, and having the general feeling that he couldn't find anything good in any of the code. Which may well be, in part, me taking several comments to an extreme. Still, it is depressing.

John listened, he came up with some useful commentary and advice, though he mostly listened, which I think is what I really needed. I have absolutely no desire for comfort or someone saying "there, there it'll be all right." Simply knowing that I really have to talk to Bill about all this was enough.

John, to help me get out of my depression, decided to make dinner. I really wanted the fish slabs, so he very cheerfully made those for me. We enjoyed them happily, and Fezzik really enjoyed his dinner as well. He goes through about a pound of hamburger every day or two, so every other day John and I are defrosting hamburger or cooking more rice and tonight they both lined up so Fezzik had them both fresh from the rice cooker and the pan. He loves the hot juices of the hamburger on the rice. So he ate thoroughly.

He stayed inside for a while, as we watched Thursday Night football, and then did the usual barking at us for a while until we got the hint and helped him scramble to the outside. He flopped, again, right on the deck right outside the door as soon as we got him there. He doesn't seem to go much further for a while, maybe catching his breath or something. But he eventually slipped off the deck and out into the night and was quiet when we went to sleep.

I got mildly indecisive about my machine, but eventually had John just take it upstairs, as most of the things I wanted to do tomorrow had to do with using the dictation software which was on our home machine. There were minutes for next week's meeting, from this week that I still had to do along with more documentation changes I needed to do to my design document. I knew I couldn't use my hands to do those, given how bad they were today. I wanted to be downstairs for Fezzik, but moving the entire home machine with all its connections down was a lot of work and I figured I could go downstairs and check on him anytime I needed to do so.

Brought to you by Dragon System's NaturallySpeaking version 5.0

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