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October 13, 1998

Gap-toothed Grin

The tooth got popped out at about 11:40. Cleanly, neatly, with a tiny crunch, no pain and no need for anesthetic. Nice. The pain'd already been taken care of with the old root canal done nearly a decade and a half ago. So that was nice to have well behind me. Dr. Synder was prompt, capable, and pretty clearly pleased with himself at how well it came out.

So I went through most of the afternoon and evening with a big, old gap in my front teeth.

No one really said anything. I think it's cause people notice such things and are embarrassed to say or ask anything, whereas I would have cheerfully told 'em what it was. It's interesting. Both interesting that no one commented and that I was disappointed, slightly, that no one commented when the darned gap is huge.

When I was walking out of the dentist's office, the receptionist turned to look at me, so I grinned big at her and she laughed, "Cute." and waved me out.

That was funny.

The kids didn't even comment, when I went to their game and got to help fetch balls, watch the game and stand, freezing in the wind under a sky that only God could have made. It'd been raining all day, and it just broke up an hour before the game was going to start. The sky was actually blue, just overhead, and as the sun started to set, various layers of clouds were set on fire with gold light or blood red light, or eventually, the deep, space-deep purples. All around us were clouds as black as death, filled with rain, and dumping it, I could see the curtains of water underneath them, and it was just amazing that our patch of sky, right above us was as clear as could be.

Extraordinary.

It was actually a bit more strange than implied, that standing on the sidelines and watching a soccer game that others are playing. I mean...

Fall is soccer time. The real soccer time in this part of the country. It's cool, wet, not yet bone-deep cold, and the wind... the wind is something crisp and keen and playful. Something that'll mess with the ball a little, to make things just that much more unpredictable. It's the season of mud puddles and rain, where the pitch is nice and soft and cushy and perfect for running around on and the ball does crazy things. It can hydroplane or just drop dead in the water. It's perfect. Cold enough to run with all your heart and not overheat, warm enough that I don't think I'm going to just die of the cold. And all around us is heartaching beauty, the changing weather, the flame touched trees, the curtains of rain or fog or even blown leaves.

It really, really, really made me want to play again. So much so that I put Dr. Thayer's card into my wallet, so that I'll actually be able to call them and get an appointment for my sports brace.

Got home late enough that all we managed to make for dinner was hot dogs on Tommy's chili with onions and buns. Dropped by a Safeway on the way home to get the few things we needed, and I snarled the whole way through because I didn't have my Club Card with me and all the prices on all the things we really wanted had been jacked up for non-Club members. Peeved me muchly.

I'm gradually starting to think that our walks with Fezzik are the main stress-reduction thing I have. It's nice to just walk and think and talk a bit, but not have anything to focus on. We tried watching TV for a while, but my brain and emotions just couldn't deal with any of it. I'm not sure why, but it was *all* making me squirm. Especially the whole show on the covert operations the US had in Vietnam, and as they were starting to show what they did with freshly kidnapped VietCong solders, I just had enough.

Sometimes I think the real problem, the real source for despair is simply the media. The fact that in old human societies, one only ever really learned about the death and disease of those close in may be why it's so hard to deal with knowing all the deaths, horrors and tortures of a whole world. Though, I guess more honestly, it's good to know that such things go on, but it might be all the better yet if there were simple or easy answers on how to get such things to stop. As cliche as the old G.I. Joe saying is, knowing really can be half the battle.

I guess that that is why the Net community and Net news usually makes sense for me. I mean, things like the slaying of Matthew Shepard have generated some news on the Net, but also reaction, action, thought, words, debate, and also more information on what can be done, what causes can be given to or supported to try and at least make some headway with the problem. So very, very few news stories in the papers or on TV actually give solid ways to help to stop the problem or deal with the damage done. Some things can't be fixed.

The hot tub was way too hot. Seems that the temperature sensor, in the cold air, thinks that the water is much colder than it actually is, so goes crazy making the tub really hot. So we just dipped in, until my toes and fingers tingled, and then went to sleep.

The gap's been bugging me all day, but the toothguard did a good job of covering it up so that I could sleep, no problem. That was an unexpected benefit of the guard. Very nice.

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