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August 8, 2000
a year ago
two years ago

Quiet Thirteenth

Quiet, peaceful, serene day.

I woke up to John giggling and wishing me Happy Anniversary! And I giggled back and it was cool, hugs and snuggles and much laughter. I like that.

I loved the bit in one of Anne Lammot's articles where she's talking about wanting to dive, head-first into a mad, torrid, painful love affair, where even the adrenalin of the fights would be better than her bland day to day, with a guy she was just lusting after to a friend. The friend replies, "Well, Anne, it all comes down to this: do you want the Hit or the Serenity?"

The Hit or the Serenity.

She wanted the Hit.

Me. For my every day, for the basis of my life, I really need the serenity, the stability. I've had too many hits to much care about them anymore. I really don't need drama in my life or the odd games that go with it.

Geoff was talking about someone he's talking with a lot, who needs someone to simply be sane for them; and he was happy with where he was with me because it allowed him to be that sane. He has the base to work from, now, and it was really cool to hear that from him. He's able to try the more difficult thing because he has some serenity, and I really felt happy to be able to provide some part of that.

And today was really nice. Comfortable workwise and homewise, and I brought moussaka for lunch and snarfed it all up and wanted more. I started eating dried apricots and prunes, and then got a small number of cookies. I had an oatmeal cookie as well as some Chex mix, and I still felt hungry. It was really weird. But I got hot chocolate (the office is so air conditioned that I actually get cold in the afternoon), and a few more of the oatmeal cookies that John made me.

Unnerved me, a little, to be so hungry.

I did work as well, a good chunk of documentation of the stuff I'm supposed to be doing soon.

I wasn't terribly hungry at 5:30, so I went down and walked the walk of the treadmill. It felt pretty good to do.

After 6, John got out of his meeting and we ran off to Safeway to get stuff, and I suddenly got really hungry again, so we went to Popeye's and tried the fried chicken again. This time I didn't feel ill, at all, afterwards. Hoorah! Yummy, crunchy chicken, with biscuits and corn on the cob and veggies from our freezer. It was a very good, very, very fast meal and I was happy for the rest of the evening, though John did manage to feed me some ice cream for dessert.

I then spent a while prepping all the meat and stuff we'd bought so that we can use it in the next week or two. We'll have enough to feed us for a while. Not the most romantic of thirteenth anniversaries, I guess, but it was calm and lovely and just felt really good.

We had the ac on and Fezzik just lay on one of the registers, panting until he cooled off himself. He actually seems to be doing mildly better today. We got a message from the vet we visit and his main advice was to take Fezzik to the onocologist to see what it was that could actually be done. So we'll likely schedule that sometime. I sat and petted Fezzik for a good long while after he'd cooled off enough and he kept stuffing his head in my lap to get more pets whenever I stopped. So I didn't stop for a good long while.

It was nice to just have the house pretty much completely cooled down before we went to sleep. It did make things just a bit drier, but the humidifier helped with that as well. Sleep, after the walk, was easy

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