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February 1, 2001
two years ago
three years ago

Last Things

I felt good enough this morning to get up and have breakfast with John. I had grapefruit, yogurt and toaster strudel, and an extra strudel just for good luck. We talked over how I felt and decided that I'd drive myself so that if I really felt like coming home at any time, I could. I was feeling tired enough that it seemed a very good idea.

I actually felt pretty good with plenty of liquids in me, and the cold wasn't too bad. So I went in about half an hour later than John did, taking my time. The one thing I really had to do was type the minutes for the meeting later this afternoon, so I did that first as I had an appointment for a massage with Michele that I'd been looking forward to all week. I had really wanted the massage and to get through the interview with the pediatrician this afternoon, the rest of the work things could probably just be safely set aside and these two things were the things I needed to do personally.

Michele was great. She warned me that the massage might make the course of the cold go faster, and that, subsequently, I'd feel awful for the rest of the day. It would, however, help things progress and I might be over it sooner. So I was happy with that. Since my whole body was completely achy and awful, I really wanted the massage and she really helped loosen up some really awful spots. It was really helpful, but made me really tired. I also was surprised to find that I have an appointment for next week! It was an unexpected thing, and I didn't think I'd make it to then with the baby still in, but it was good to know that it'd be available if I had to carry all this weight another week. That cheered me considerably.

But she really was right about feeling awful after that, cold-wise. So I decided that I'd have to go home this afternoon, have a nap before the interview. Still, I wanted to get the entry updated for yesterday and Bill was lucky I did, as he got a chance to talk with me about all the things that were still on my plate, where they were, what could be done about them and who might have a chance or a shot at some of them. While he had me there, it was good that he talked it all through with me.

When that was all done I went home, ate lunch and just tumbled into bed and fell deep asleep.

I woke up to the phone shrilling in my ear. It was 4. John was calling to be sure that I'd be awake in time to get to the interview on time. My alarm was all set to go off in another minute, so I just ignored the call completely, as I hate getting woken up by the phone. John, however, hadn't known that I'd been planning on getting up right then anyway, so that we could leave the house at 4:15. He was just making sure.

Problem was that I felt like complete and total shit. I was so tired and achy and awful that I was really short with him, but I did get myself put together and into the car, where I leaned against the window and half fell asleep on the way to the clinic.

By the time we got there, I was feeling a little more alive, and apologized to John for being so grumpy. He understood, though, and that was good. We then were ushered by a very friendly nurse into an examination room, there weren't all that many folks in the waiting room this time, a less hectic day, it seemed. And a few minutes later Dr. Turner showed up.

She introduced herself, said a few introductory things, in that she felt that she was just like the other doctor we'd interviewed so far as views and general practices. She then asked us if we had specific questions, and we started rolling through the list. I'd added a question about what books she'd recommend for parents to learn from, and she actually went with a book we already had along with a new one that I found interesting. John and I pretty much tag teamed on the questions, he did a lot of the social and local and how she sees kids ones, and I asked the 'Have you seen cases of child abuse and molestation?' one and she was really great and asked us what the context as for the question. The best thing was having her answer that it isn't a sure thing, it is sometimes confusing, especially with all the behavioral changes kids got through anyway in all the stages they have; but she had seen it, had dealt with it and didn't deny that such was possible. She then went on to say that if any parent is at all uncomfortable with any aspect of their child care, they should pull the child out. She very strongly advocated going with ones feelings even if there wasn't physical evidence, and that really, really decided me.

The other doctor had only said that she'd dealt with some abuse cases and called in child services. She hadn't gone into the more complex issues or any of the questions about why and what it was we were thinking about. Also, I'm someone that needs the kind of support for my emotions even without clear evidence, and it seemed that Dr. Turner was very willing to provide that. She also seemed very clear about learning about our child, individually and doing what she could, but also that she would ask us the hard questions, too.

We left very, very glad that we'd talked with more than one of the pediatricians. Dr. Turner's style was very much more what we wanted, and we were sure that both doctors would be competent, it was just that her communication style was far more to our liking.

John really wanted to take care of me and my awful cold on the way home, so we stopped by Safeway, got lemons to make me lemon and honey to help unstuff me. We also restocked up on grapefruit. Soup and bread for dinner to help me drink more liquids and get more steam and that worked out really well with an extra helping of crackers and sharp cheddar cheese. He then shooed me off to bed, and said that he'd sleep elsewhere to be sure I got a good night's sleep. I collapsed gratefully.

A real life saver was a thermos of boiling water I put by my bedside and every time I woke up to pee, I also drank half a mug of steaming water that opened up my nose and made my too-dry lungs feel a ton better every time I did it. It was something that the pregnancy book had advocated for a cold, as a non-drug method of reliving symptoms and I was very, very happy I had it.

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