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February 4, 1999
a year ago

Big Meeting

It wasn't really until the next morning that I noticed, or John noted that he'd packed all the books in the back bedroom into boxes. All my wall of books, into like ten book boxes. They filled half the bathroom. It was interesting to see. John had done it because we're going to have painters here while we're gone to Boulder, and we have to clear out a few rooms of Things We Don't Want Painted before they get here. It's really crazy, in some ways, as part of me really thought we'd be out of the house before we had to do everything, and it's echos of what we're going to have to go through before we really do move.

We had to get up early in order to get to work on time as someone was visiting from the San Jose site to meet with us all day. An all day meeting is a grueling thing, but we got through it okay, got good ideas, really good information exchange and basically talked or listened *all* *day*.

By the end of it all, I am feeling somewhat anti-social. Okay, massively anti-social. I really don't want to talk to another human being, at all.

It also didn't help that I had to pack up all the books in the livingroom as well as move all the plants into another room so that they don't get painted. Packing the books was insanely hard, emotionally. It's like shutting away the things that I'm really *used* to having access, instant access to. It's taking away all my escapes. The books that are the things that I go to first when things get to be just way too much, are the things we're packing first and it's going to drive me completely insane if they stay there for the months that we're going to be in transition.

John finally promised me that they weren't going to *stay* in boxes, but it was hard not to just panic, big time. Everything was in knots, so I thought about taking a bath, and finally did with one of the rose bath bombs that did a good job, though the newer batch wasn't as strong or intense as the first batch. Which was a good thing so far as bath oils, but the EO scent was fairly faint. I might have to use two of the newer ones, and it might have been leaving them to dry for 24 hours was too much and too much of the essential oils evaporated in the drying time. I need to experiment just a bit more.

It managed to untie me a little, but not nearly all the way, and it took a little while to get to sleep. This is all going to be crazy, I think, this whole moving and selling the house thing is just going to drive me nuts. I'll be glad when it's all over; but the whole concept of an impeccably clean house is just scaring the heck out of me.

It's also making me mildly angry, as a friend of mine wants to store a few things with us, but I can't oblige as there just isn't going to be the room or ability. I mean, we're throwing out or giving away everything we can and there's just no where to *put* things anymore and just let them hang out for a while. Realtors calling my living things and the stuff I enjoy 'clutter' just makes me angry.

Which is probably entirely stupid, but there it is.

I also got called by a friend from the Mid-West that wanted to visit with me while he was here for an interview with Microsoft, over the weekend, but with the sudden Boulder trip the only chance might be tomorrow night, and he's not going to be getting away from them until late, so this is going to be crazy, too. It's like I'm pulling my life up by the roots, and while I know that in the long run this is going to be a good thing, in the meantime it just sucks.

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