< June 2, 1998 >

Funny how the Net Works

Had a really busy day today. Also someone ran across some of my faith pages and its generating interesting email as the guy started with an Alta Vista search on rational spirituality and hit one of my really early journal entries. The reference was at the end of the entry, but it was interesting to see his reaction to it. Lots of folks read that and think I'm an atheist, which always amuses me.

Work is at the boiling point, not a bad one, kinda like how a bee hive boils with activity and everyone actually does know what they're doing and people are not colliding and it's working out really well. Just tiring with all the things that have to be done.

Did you know the sun sets at 9 p.m. now? It's a lovely slow arc of golden light, slowly, so slowly does the twilight fade, too that it's nearly light still around 9:30. And with the days we've been having it was just a gorgeous drive to the deacons' meeting.

The meeting itself was pretty exhausting, too. I am back in the mode of doubting my decision to stay on. But that's okay. I can doubt.

Realized that there are other tensions going on my life anyway... but this is a journal about me, not about other people. So... I guess I can put my reactions and things, but in the last month or two about five different people have told me about various health problems that I know that I can't do anything about. Problems that are even life threatening. Three of them in the last couple of weeks. And I've been stressing about them at an unconscious level on the most part, just fretting quietly. As two people are people that I love dearly and the other three are pretty close aquaintances.

Well. So far, three of the tests, two biopsies and one other have all proven non-malignant. Two more to see through. I'm glad for the good news on the ones I've gotten good news for, but am still just kinda low-level fretting over the others eventhough there's really nothing I can do, and nothing that will help.

Maybe that's why I'm taking it so badly.

But, yeah, I just realized while I was driving that I was depressed so much these last several days, and it had been too long a period, as I'm starting to fall into the old rut again. So I should haul my ass back out of it.

Genevieve's Fiat game helped yet again. Sephar's problems are mighty compared to mine.

The evening was good, after the meeting. Just got to talk with John a lot and I also got my Amazon shipment of books, but they forgot one of my four books eventhough it was on the invoice. That upset me a little, but they just made a mistake. They were closed so I'll have to call in the morning.

John was great and marinated a duck breast in an orange marinade I had, and he'd started it before I even went to the meeting, so by the time I got home it was good and ready to roast. So I roasted it in the toaster oven so that the skin would be nice and crisp and also baked the last of the spinach and onion and cheese bread and nuked some peas. Dinner at 10 pm. We stayed up a bit watching some TV and then I made the mistake or whole good thing of calling my sister.

We talked for nearly two hours. Much of it with me laughing my ass off, and getting told neat stories and we'll be coordinating things when the JF and I are in San Diego heading for LA the same time and day that Kathy wants to be, so we'll actually get some time together, maybe, in the car. That will be good. I miss her.

Crawled into bed, exhausted, after midnight.

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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