November 1, 2000

Wiggling Fish

There was candy everywhere at work. Piles of it in every break room. With the rain and snow last night no one really got that many trick or treaters, so there was candy everywhere leftover from last night. That was pretty funny. We even managed to get in early enough that I got one of the donuts from the box of donuts that someone brings in every Wednesday morning. Usually by the time I get in they're long gone and the box is buried under coffee grounds and filters.

I got some things done, but not a whole lot, and I could hear Cary grumping about in the cubicle next to mine. Eventually he just gave up and asked if I wanted to go to lunch, and I did, and we managed to drag Bob along as well as Usman. The four of us went to the Asian market and I had a good bowl of pho along with a very crispy eggroll. It was very satisfying, and the food and talk improved Cary's mood. There was a lot of going over who had written the last version of the software he was having to maintain and knowing more of the history seemed to help a little.

Just generally exhausted feeling. I don't really know why. Maybe it's just the third trimester starting a little early or something. The baby is very, very much more active, now. After getting home and getting some dinner, I could feel my insides being pushed around.

It still kinda amazes me that the female body's digestive system and innards are made to be shoved around by a baby that's just stretching or moving around like crazy. There were times during the day when I could feel the creature just thumping about against my insides, sometimes making sections of me just jump with violent motion. I guess that's why the kidneys are placed out of the way, and things like the heart and brain and aren't that near, either. The kid was getting mildly violent by the time I got to bed, and I had fun putting John's hand on my belly and having him feel the kiddo out.

Then, as I turned on my side, I could feel the kid pushing steadily, not the lunges I've been getting a lot of, or the whole body wiggles, or the punches or kicks, but the kid somehow managed to get a foothold somewhere and was just shoving its head up against my hip bone, pushing as hard as possible. I could feel the stretching involved and the effort, and rather startled by it I put my hand on the lump at my hip and it was the tiny, perfectly round, hard lump. Just like a head that would fit perfectly in the cup of my hand.

I startled John a great deal by nearly shouting, "Feel this!" and he woke up and fumbled over and then went, "Wow." as he could cup that same tiny head in his hand through the relatively thin skin over my hip bone.

What an odd mix of feelings. It's just weird having someone in my guts, rampaging about at will. It's also kinda cool knowing that the life inside me is so active and so healthy and so willful as to do that. Kinda awesome, too, to feel something so complete and identifiable under my hand, and be able to know that that was the kid's head.

The thumping about made it really hard to sleep. Along with Fezzik thumping about outside, sometimes obviously falling down the stairs, and one time it sounded like he might be climbing them, and I woke John up to look as he can actually see at night. Without my contacts I'm pretty much blind as a bat. John reported that Fezzik had gotten onto his bed and was serenely contemplating the neighborhood. So I slept after knowing that.

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