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October 8, 2000
two years ago
three years ago

Bumping Out of Ruts

Fezzik isn't showing quite the improvement he did last week, though given how much he improved, maintaining where he is is pretty darned good. So he seems pretty happy, all in all. Especially happy when watching me eat apple pie.

Yeah, we had apple pie for breakfast, with Fezzik patiently sitting by the apple pie, occasionally raising his snout to just breath in the fragrance while the plastic was off it. I had opened it up and got distracted, and I found him just sitting on the floor next to the pie, waiting. Not drooling, particularly, but just patiently waiting. I gave him a small piece, while cutting pieces for John and I. I also cut some cheddar cheese, as it goes very well with the tarter style of pie I make. Nice, rich wedges of cheddar. It tasted really, really nice with the spicy tart chunks of apple and the still crisp, tender crust.

Lovely breakfast.

Today John had to get all the bookshelves, the china hutch and the kitchen table out of the dining room area. A lot of mass to move. He did it wisely, little bit by little bit, piling books on the couches and on the floor before moving over each of the shelves with a hand truck. The china hutch took two people to get over there, and I actually didn't have any problems with lifting. It's pretty cool knowing just how much better my hands are now, than they were even a year or two ago. I can lift. I can carry stuff. I have to be careful, still, but it's no longer something that'll cripple me for the next week.

I think a lot of it is having time off from work regularly, and time away from constantly interacting with people on-line.

I got tired after the big pieces and meandered downstairs to play more Final Fantasy VII. This time, after John finished off the big task of getting everything over, he came down to watch. I'd gotten good enough that the advice he could offer was stuff that I could use and I wouldn't bite him for saying. The maze puzzles and some of the order puzzles are easier with someone to bounce ideas off of and someone to suggest areas that I haven't tried yet or things I haven't done, yet. There was one really, truly funny plot sequence, that John was entertained as much by how much I was laughing as by what was going on. One really frustrating one was a train yard, where every ten or fifteen steps I took ended up in another fight, and I was gradually wearing down. John was the one that spotted the possible thing to do that changed the whole setup to the point where I could finally get out.

No spoilers here!

When our butts hurt from sitting on the floor, we went back upstairs. It's actually a pretty good strategy for me to not play too long. John bought back supporting floor chairs a while back, when we were playing a lot of Crash Team Racing and they were perfect for limiting our time and not damaging our backs, as it wasn't fatiguing our backs at all, it was just the hardness of the floor eventually making my butt protest nicely.

For all that Alton's grilled cheese sammiches were pretty good, we went back to Rosty's version of the classic, using the waffle iron for our lunch. Though we *did* add mustard to the insides, as they'd really made the sandwiches just that much more tasty. While the sandwiches browned all waffled, I heated tomato soup, the Healthy Choice stuff, with so much less salt I could actually eat it happily. It's just such a classic combination, for us at least. Comfort food on a beautiful fall day. The day itself was crisp and clear and marvelous and Fezzik hadn't bothered, all day, to come in the house. He was just sleeping out on the porch and watching the day and enjoying the weather that wasn't too cold or too hot. It was nice seeing him enjoy the day.

After lunch, John started taping things up with big, blue masking tape. I went back downstairs, as I was starting to get really hooked on the plot, and I played and played until I heard John say, "It's about time!"

Took me a little while to remember that we were going to go see Space Cowboys as it was probably the only movie out right now that we had any desire to see. It's been out a really long while, but when we arrived in the theater, it was still half full, which might be why it's still showing. And when we saw it I could see why it's still around. It's pretty neat, not just candy sweet happy ending, but not full-out bitter and cynical, either. A very interesting mix with very interesting people though a very simplistic plot. Two out of three ain't at all bad for a summer movie.

I really liked it, not one of the best movies I've ever seen, but good entertainment for a few hours.

When we came out, the sun was setting, and the cool, crisp day was turning all gold. I was in the mood for chicken pot pie, but we ended up at Gunther Toddy's. Diner food, they didn't have the chicken pot pie, but they did have a Blue Plate Special of chicken fried chicken, mashed with sausage gravy, and broccoli in cheddar cheese sauce. The chicken and dumpling soup was surprisingly good, not at all salty, with big chunks of chicken, vegetables, and dumplings. The cheddar cheese biscuits that were served with dinner were light, fluffy and on the edges just that right kind of savory that can only come with lightly browned cheddar cheese. The chicken was crisp and solid with white meat, the mashed was good and lumpy with some of the skins still in it, and the broccoli was perfectly tender crisp and the cheese sauce just lightly clung to the flowerets. A really, really nice dinner and really deserved the name 'Special'. I ate exactly half of the chicken and mashed, all of the broccoli and both of my biscuits as well as most of my soup. Happy and full we rolled on home.

Since we were going to be in a hotel all of next week, we needed to pack stuff. John still had a bunch of taping to do, so he just pulled out all the things he wanted packed, and I packed everything into one of our Xilinx bags. I had a list of things I wanted to do, and I did them. When it was all done, I went downstairs and, yes, played some more.

I think the last few weeks have put me in a rut. A rut that work has to be anxiety causing, the Geoff had to be anxiety causing, and that Fezzik's cancer had to be anxiety causing, and none of that's really true. Work is just work. I'll have to get a realistic assessment tomorrow of what's going on there. Geoff has already worked through the things that bother him, I just gotta get my side of it to settle down and not keep on the negative tracks I wore deep with the other secondary I had and not fall into those ruts when dealing with Geoff and myself. Fezzik had a good, restful day, and I have to acknowledge that. Getting out of the mental ruts is sometimes best done, not by emphasizing their negative (which only wears them deeper, amusingly enough), but by going somewhere else completely.

Final Fantasy VII is working quite well at distracting me from all of it. I dreamed of the game, tonight, rather than all the other anxiety and/or combat and conflict dreams. Where, as a fighter, I could just stand there and do my best and know that, on the most part, it would work out just fine. Where the puzzles were hard and frustrating, but solvable, and where there was a reason for everything I was trying to do. It's still just a story, still just a game, but the mental mindsets that I could practice for the game could well be used in my reality, too.

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