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October 30, 1999
a year ago
two years ago


Saw a lot of screen stuff today.

Slept in really late, and watched stuff while John was outside 'raking leaves' with my John Deere mower. The mower has the catcher bags, so he was just driving over all the leaves, letting the mower catch them, mulch them and stick 'em in the bags. So he was really happy with that.

I was really lazy and watched the SF channel, the Food channel and random other cruft from about noon to about four. Just completely unmotivated and whenever I thought about work there was a subtle terror to my thoughts. I am really afraid of this. Afraid that I won't get anything done and even terrified of the code. I don't know why. I don't like making mistakes or changing things, but that's the only way, really, to do things, so I was occupying my brain and emotions with two-D experiences. I think I'll probably get past this, eventually, and it won't be so scary when I'm doing it, but, for now, I'm just not letting those paths get worn any deeper.

Farscape was fun. Kathy had recommended it and I really did like the episode I did see. I saw some soccer. There were, at one point, eight games of college football going on at the same time, and it was interesting to see just how much alike all the games were as I flipped between them. Male flip-itus has nothing on me. I saw one episode of Sliders and there were more, but I eventually walked away. Went upstairs and did a little far-focus stuff out the window and some painting to get my brain back in a different gear entirely.

But at 4 p.m. John and I went off to do some adventuring. First we went to Shepler's, and John's timed planning had us shopping there for a given amount of time before making it to see Sixth Sense. Since we were shopping for a pair of boot-cut jeans for me, we set aside half an hour. Note: This is the first time in umpteen years that we've actually gone clothes shopping. I've only gotten clothes in the last few years by impulse and mail order. The combination is weird. So, for the first time in years, I was actually in dressing rooms, with real clothing and trying it all on to get a fit that I actually liked. It was hard work. I think, between the two of us, we had me in and out of about a dozen pairs of jeans. Of course, the very first one that I tried was the one that we left with. Four different manufacturers, all in about the same size but with three different 'cuts', all boot cut styling, and none of them fit the same. What was really, truly, funny was that jeans have gone to *odd* sizes for women, the next half-step up for comfort, or something. It was really interesting to see tons of size 13 jeans when I'd fit in 12's for a good long while.

John's timing was perfect. He got us to the movie just 15 minutes before it was scheduled to start, and we even got snack time before going in.

Go see Sixth Sense if you haven't, yet. It's good. It's a little scary, and a little gory, but the ending is worth every bit. It's neat, ties up nicely with a sweet twist and the plot works with everything it's given. 'Nuff said. Now I have to see it again.

After the movie we roamed Biggs and got dinner, various groceries and a lot of laughter. I don't know why grocery shopping is such and adventure with John, but it always is and we always get a basket that gets so heavy I can't carry it. But it was good. We bought chicken thighs for dinner, and eventhough we didn't get home until about 8:30, I had enough time to soak 'em in buttermilk, coat 'em and fry 'em and bake 'em until they were cooked through. They were still tender on the inside, crispy on the outside and the oven took most of the oil out of 'em. That was really good dinner, with the last of the homemade mac and cheese and salad that John made from frozen lettuce, and peas. Yum.

Some channel was showing the 1992 remakes of the Godzilla movies. All of them. That was really funny to watch, and really fun, too. The plot lines get a whole lot more confusing when the American dubs don't really explain everything that the Japanese lines explained; but it was fun. John was falling asleep before the second movie really even got started, so we just went to sleep.

It was odd. As I was falling asleep, I was really thinking through all kinds of thoughts I was getting from The Sixth Sense and the idea of ghosts needing to say something or do something after they're dead that's something that can be very good for the living really struck me hard. That they might be watching out for us as well. That stuck me so hard that I was crying quietly in the night. I really have no idea why, emotionally, I was crying from what is such a simple thought that should have even been reassuring in some ways, but it just shook me hard.

Then again, I don't cry at bad things. I only cry so hard I can't breath from good things, happy endings, when the guy gets his girl, when the girl stands up against all the things she's fought against all her life. Tell me why I cry at that... and maybe I'll understand why I cry. Maybe...

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