Hitler's Brain

[From Chris Bertani.]

The following narrative is incomplete, and may slight some heroes in favor of others. So write your own gory details.

The reason I did not wait for you two to run the Nazi caper is that it already involved Thunder-over-Water AND the Berkely Mob, and took three sessions to resolve, at 3 hours per 12 second turn!! I was hoping for an annual, but got a Crossover instead! Details of this adventure will be forthcoming from Earl, or someone else, I hope, but it included Hitler's Brain, Fluffy the rabbit fearing dragon, Hairtrigger jumping (or trying to anyway) onto a Cruise MIssile in flight, Phoenix being blown up at an altitude of over 100 hexes, and the Nazi Master villain Ubermensch apparantly trying to shoot himself in the head! Plus: Phoenix kills, the unbelievable fight between Master Stroke and Impulse, Magess feels useless, Ms. Misery and the fire-extinguisher, Master Gumby versus Kommander Krieg, Ysarri kills herself (well, sort of...) and the Kobra Kommando - Boojum rematch...

Well, since no-one else is detailing, I suppose I'll provide my distorted version of events.

It started with the Nazi invasion of the West Coast. Suddenly, and without warning, Nazi agents attacked a number of targets, including Vandenburg, Berkeley, a Hitler memorabilia exhibit, and Fluffy walked out of the water onto the beaches of LA.

No heros were at Vandenburg, but Impulse played on his experiences at Macho Grande and talked his way into finding out that there were two cruise missiles stolen.

At Berkeley, four Nazi agents and a giant robot were confronted by Aurora, Fay, and Hairtrigger. Hairtrigger dealt with the agents well, while Aurora managed the impossible: Stunning a robot. Then Fay took it to 6 stun before falling unconscious. It decided discretion was the better part of valor, and fled. Aurora nearly shot it down, but missed (but it was only 300 hexes away...) Fay was grabbed by the bot, and taken.

At the Hitler exhibit, 4 Nazi agents and Kobra Kommando were confronted by Snark/Boojum and Blackout. During the ensuing fray, Blackout discovered that the agents and K.K. could see through his darkness, and Boojum was hurt, retreating to Snark form. Neither of them knew the other was there. Snark suppressed Boojum's desire to smash K.K., and followed the Nazis through their getaway plan, winding up in Argentina via dirigible. The Nazis won this one.

And Fluffy occupied 3 SAT teams, and other attacks distracted the others. Fluffy was stolen by dirigible after being taken unconscious.

So, both the Berkeley Mob and Thunder over Water had reasons for going after the Nazis. The Mob were going after Fay, and Thunder got a phone call from Orson/Snark/Boojum saying "I'm in a small village near the Nazi base, and need reinforcements."

Meanwhile, while trying to investigate the targets behind the Nazi plan, the idea came up that the sinister Mr. N. White could secretly be the force behind the Nazis. (Master Gumby's suggestion). There was nothing to do but investigate. So, after successfully making an appointment, a gaggle of paranorms trouped into an office, and confronted Mr. White. After much hemming and hawing, Phoenix decided that this wasn't working, and just asked him straight out whether he was a Nazi. Under telepathic verification, he denied. After that, there was less hemming and hawing.

After we arrive down south, having bribed/intimidated our way past customs, we start forming a plan. Our desolidifiers will investigate the base, while the remaining team holes up in the jungle (the nearby town being Nazi controlled). The suggestion of disguising ourselves as Nazis was dismissed as being impractical.

So, the plan is carried out. Kitty, Yssari, and Snark are to investigate the base, while the combined Mob and Thunder hole up in the jungle. Literally, as Magess opens the side of a tree into a lounge, with satellite receiver and danger room.

After some sneaking around by the Away team, Phoenix gets bored and scans the base. Finds a number of minds, most average, a couple of powerful, one computer/AI, and Fluffy. She decides to talk to Fluffy, and discovers that Fluffy is in sensory deprivation. The logical conclusion: They're putting Hitler's brain in Fluffy!

After more time passes, Fluffy starts to fade. Phoenix tells the Stealth group to try to save Fluffy, while we create a distraction out front. So, the team charges toward battle, the rallying cry of "Save Fluffy" falling on at least one set of deaf ears (Aurora: "aren't dinosaurs supposed to be extinct, or stay that way...")

Impulse goes first, and has some fun throwing pebbles at agents, and then attacks, moveby-ing them and going into the hangar/garage, where he threatens non-English speaking mechanics.

Then the rest of the team arrives, as alarms start going off, and the Stealth team tries to save Fluffy. Turns out the scientists are already replacing Fluffy's brain, so they have them continue.

Battle. Impulse gets the first dancing partner, as he spots Master Stroke striding into the garage with his axe. Being a movement artist, he move thru's with the jeep he happens to be carrying. He and Master Stroke then tango for most of the battle, with the sequence of events being: Master Stroke slices at Impulse with his 5d6 killing axe, which bounces, and Impulse is knocked back. Impulse then movethru's Master Stroke. Repeat 4-5 times, with occasional interruptions for Master Stroke to be knocked unconscious by Aurora, then get back up, etc.

Magess starts by feeling left out, so she beats up some mechanics.

Phoenix and Hairtrigger are by the elevator when it opens, to reveal Sturm (Indiana Jones boxer) and Ubermensch (egoist). Ubermensch tells Phoenix and Hairtrigger to go outside and guard the entrance. Hairtrigger has nothing better to do, so she does. Phoenix slams the elevator shut, and crumples it around them. ("First floor, Phoenix" -Pat)

Master Gumby now follows Impulse, and gets his dancing partner Commander Krieg. They're at the doors where Master Stroke came out and is fighting Impulse. They're also blocking the door for the four agents in the room to come out, and are by Ms. Misery (in her unluck field). They dance for a while, with Krieg hitting with his killing attack and doing body to M. G., while M. G. keeps punching Krieg to little effect.

Meanwhile, in this chaos by that set of doors, Ms. Misery is busy with her luck/unluck powers. The agents do miserably, one entangling himself, others failing armor activation rolls. The real effect is felt outside, where the fight is. This one fire extinguisher was underfoot every person on our side there, doing awkward and improbable things.

Outside the base, the giant robot lands, in front of the two martial artists Hairtrigger and Blackout. Blackout discovers a flaw in his darkness fields: They reach only to the robot's knees. So the two martial artists try to take on the robot, and do a good job of it.

Meanwhile, indoors, Sturm has made the mistake of breaking out of the elevator in a single phase, looking like a brick. So Aurora hits him with a 5d6 killing attack. Taking him to negative 10 body instantly. Fortunately, he's not dead yet, just two body away.

On the second floor, Yssari has locked in the agent reinforcements, and encounters Riplash and Kobra Kommando. They both attack, so Yssari retreats, after stunning Riplash.

Kobra Kommando, being followed by Snark, proceeds to make his own way down. Snark converts to Boojum, and proceeds to miss, and then pounds him but good. Knocking K. K. 4x unconscious, and winding up outside, by the robot.

Phoenix decides that the second floor might be interesting, and makes her own way up, narrowly missing the agents who have gone to the stairs (the elevator being out of order, it seems.) She encounters Riplash, who tries to hit her and fails. She grabs Riplash, and drops her down to the first level, knocking Riplash unconscious.

Meanwhile, Ubermensch has finally broken out and is wreaking havok. (Well, not much, but some nasty EGO powers). Magess gains Phoenix's attention, and tells her to take care of the egoist. So she wraps the hood of a jeep around his head. Ubermensch then goes to an agent and gets the agent to shoot him in the head repeatedly to get rid of the entangle. The agent doing poorly, he tries his own handgun, with similar lack of results. Phoenix, having gotten some end back, move thru's him.

Elsewhere, Boojum has finally managed to wrestle the robot to the ground (not much leverage clinging to an ankle in pitch darkness, he kept trying to push it in the direction of the other leg). And the martial artists finish beating up the giant robot.

Master Gumby and Commander Krieg have fallen down and gotten up several times, and are now both running out of end and stun (and, in Master Gumby's case, body). Reeling drunkenly, they're sparring.

Magess has finally managed to get Ms. Misery down, and is trying to finish off an agent to get his gun.

And Impulse and Master Stroke are slamming each other around.

Aurora is wandering through trying to find someone to fight.

And Sparks, who was sadly neglected at the start of this narrative, but fought agents well, and then tried paramedic on Sturm, who was busy giving birth after a head accident left him with ammnesia, rendering Luke the only person who knew of the will... sorry, it all sounded too much like a soap opera for a moment.

Phoenix, who we had left move-thruing Ubermensch, gets shot in the back by the enterprising Agent 11, who had been shooting Ubermensch in the head. Hitting with pentetrating killing attacks, he does 8 body and 8 stun to Phoenix, committing an act of stupidity, hitting Phoenix with an attack that has a possibility of killing her, and not killing her outright.

To reduce the future incidence of such behavior, she kills him. It takes her a few phases, as the first thing she does is take away his own gun and suspend him in the air by TK, and get ready to shoot him with his own gun. (He starts counting to himself, did I fire two bursts, or three?). This doesn't work, as he's actually fired three bursts.

So she kills him with her own powers (taking her own susc.).

The fight is now roughly over, Impulse having dealt with Master Stroke, Aurora having taken out Krieg (Master Gumby having softened him up enough, i.e. taken him to 1-4 stun), Magess having dealt with Ms. Misery, Kitty and Lockheed having dealt with agents, Boojum having taken out the revived Riplash, Sparks having been taken out by Riplash, Blackout ego blasted to barely out, Hairtrigger having been also ego blasted to barely out, both by Ubermensch, who has been being ignored.

Ubermensch, disliking losing, flies away, pursued by Impulse. Phoenix, Kitty, and Hairtrigger are debating the sanctity of human life, Magess, Aurora, Master Gumby, and Blackout are wondering what to do now, and Boojum is looking real dumb.

Levitating just ahead of Impulse, Ubermensch tells the technicans to launch the cruise missile for New York now. They do, just as Impulse knocks Ubermensch out.

So, Phoenix, Hairtrigger and Kitty try to catch the missile. Moving noncombat, Phoenix easily catches up to it, but has the problem of being OCV 0 versus DCV 9. Kitty jumps for it, but misses and lands on the air.

Hairtrigger now acts heroic, and leaps for the missile (remember, she's got low defenses, no flight or gliding, and no-one knows if she can be caught if she fails) and misses. As she is figuring out the seconds remaining until she hits the ground, Snark/Boojum figures out how to get under her before she hits (she's about 120 hexes up at this point).

Phoenix, running out of end, does the obvious (in retrospect) -- attack. She puts a TK forcewall in front of the missile, which promptly blows up, but with only a conventional explosion. Having no end, she had nearly no defenses. She is now unconscious, stunned, but less than 1x REC.

5 seconds later, she stops her fall, and the battle is over.

But what to do with the Nazis, their base, and Hitler's brain? (Which was in Fluffy for a while). Hitler's brain is taken off life support (it was barely there to begin with, it was a mercy killing), the base is razed to the ground by Phoenix, and we take a Nazi dirigible home with the agents to SAT.

Impulse never did get through to Before Breakfast through the Nazi switchboard after the missile was launched, but did swagger for a while about Master Stroke.

Fay was recovered, and has gone home to her cats.

And Archie and Wanda opened a leper colony and....

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Last modified: January 31, 1997 / webmaster@flick.com