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April 21, 1999
a year ago


Well, to start, there's two corrections to yesterday's entry already, they say that altogether, there were fifteen fatalities, now. Also, Colorado's legislature just nuked both weapons bills, in light of the recent events.

So. Today. What was there to love about today? Distractions, might be the word for today. Just wandered about, puttering with web, on-line, doing very little, not just little work, but little anything. Nothing really got done and nothing really even got started, and so... it was just a bit of a limbo day. Just dealing, I guess.

Around 5, we took off to get the computer we ordered over the weekend. Had to go south, towards Denver to get to the company that we'd gotten it from, and the sky had shrouded itself in grey and thunder and black and the rain was starting, in fits and starts, nothing steady, nothing constant. Just spits here and there.

Many, many, many folks were going into Denver as well, for all the memorial services, the ways humans deal with early death. And so all the roads were jammed and packed and filled with cars. We managed to get by a lot of it, took a side route and ended up at the computer place about five minutes before they closed. So we got to pick it up, double check all the parts, and then load it into the back of the car.

Once we turned toward home, there was some doubt as to what to do about dinner. Diner? Restaurant? Grocery store? Which grocery store? How about the one near home? Hm... isn't there that truck stop right at that exit of I-25?

We stopped at the truck stop and we had truck stop food. I always get the liver and onions if they have it and John got the special, a 12 oz t-bone. The food was good, not to die for, but good as in truck stop good. A salad bar was included as well as rolls, potatoes, and some various dubious looking vegetables, that might have been white green beans that had been boiled way too long. Mushy. Ook. The liver, though, was crisp around the edges, tender all the way through, with caramelized onions smothering the whole. Yeah, I know. Most people don't like liver very much, but I realized I needed the iron when my body felt much better for having eaten that. On the way out we bought a giant cinnamon roll for tomorrow morning.

We stopped by the grocery store afterwards, anyway. To get a few things for tomorrow, and if the snow really was coming the way they were predicting, it was going to be good to have food at home. A whole chicken, cans of Mexican tomato sauce, onions, potatoes, and some tortillas as well as some hot dog buns for the hot dogs. Lots of things that could be made into quick dinners and it looks like we'll actually have a choice tomorrow rather than, as in the last few weeks, 'what do we actually *have* today?' kinds of meals.

As we drove home, the sun had just set and the world was dark. The mountains had drawn the clouds over their faces, and in all directions there was nothing but iron grey as far as the eye even dreamed of seeing. The splatterings of rain grew gradually more frequent, but still not driving.

When we got home, the fence had been re-chained. It was an amusing side-effect of the fact that I've been chaining it closed, every morning, the same way, so it was very, very easy to know when someone had opened and closed the front gate. But we didn't see any packages on any of the porches and there wasn't anything particularly missing that we could see, in the house, and nothing really that we could spot. Fezzik was just as bouncy and happy as usual, if a bit damp from the rain.

John put the computer together upstairs, and I wandered through the channels on the TV. The TV was partially out, reception was just cloudy static. I thought it was 'cause of the rain and cloud cover; but when John was done, he wandered outside and came back in to say that the fancy antennae out back was gone. That, more than likely, either the ex-owner of the house or some company that leased it to the ex-owner, had come to take it away. Which actually made sense, as it wasn't really built into the house.

Saturating coverage of the aftermath of the school thing. Even to equating the storm to God crying. The one thing that I really loved was one Mall rat (i.e. one of the teens that hangs out in the Denver open air Mall all the time) said that all this blaming of it on society, on the school, on the parents, on gun laws, on movies, on vid games, was just bullshit. That the reality was that two people made a choice, and because of that choice, a lot of people are dead. To blame it on anything else is just irresponsible.

I really hate the American media. Totally. More about 'what's wrong' than what could be really done about the core problems. The cameras in the mourning services was such an intrusion, it felt so wrong. The BBC's coverage, which we miraculously get from one of the local PBS stations, was simple, left the people they interviewed with their dignity, and talked with experts about what could be done, rather than what was wrong. They seemed to at least have a clue and I didn't feel sick just watching.

It kept me up past midnight, just scribbling thoughts down to get them out of my head, while John went to sleep. I distracted myself happily by also perfecting the tips on some of the quills I've been working over. The Benchmade 875 with the blue trim is such a beautiful instrument, I almost feel guilty having it do what I'm having it do. Almost. Effectively making such a beautiful cutting instrument into a penknife is kinda funny. So now I'm looking at a tinier Benchmade, the 330, which might be just as useful for cutting quills, but not quite as scary an amount of knife.

The Pendemonium stripped quills were very interesting to study and I found that, with practice and testing, that all my nibs are gradually becoming more and more like theirs. That the shape they've come to is one that really is ideal for writing for pages without having to sharpen the points. So there really is something about form following function.

And, as Mark once made a point of saying, sometimes I think too much, and I finally wore down after midnight and got to sleep.

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