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August 4, 1998
a year ago

Pretty Dress

Plowed through much at work, though I got in pretty late. It was already hot in the morning, so I wore a dress that we'd bought me when we were in Kawaii early last year. It's a cool sundress in red with white flowers on it, short and with shoulder straps.

I got a lot of comments about the dress. I don't usually wear a dress, and certainly not one that is as, uhm... I guess looks as revealing as that one was. I hadn't thought of that when I put it on, mostly that it would be comfortable and cool. Yeesh. Utility before looks, that's me, but I got a lot of compliments on it at work, and a lot of teasing comments about it as well. Has made me think twice about wearing it again. Though, admittedly, if I weren't so paranoid, they were all positive comments.

It's just my head that would turn something like a pretty dress into something just a bit sleazy. Sigh. Maybe it is just that I'm not used to getting so many remarks about anything I wear. Distracting. Worrying in many ways. Sometimes I really wish I were comfortable with the way I look when I dress fem. I, so often, feel like I'm in drag when I'm in a dress and feel so completely out of place it's almost funny.

John and I spent lunch at Costco, a great huge warehouse store that carries a few quality things in great quantity. We went there and got like six bales of little chip bags as folks at work like 'em, and it's cheaper than buying 'em at the deli across the street. Each bale has like thirty-six little bags of chips. I also absconded with two and a half pounds of Chex Mix, six pounds of frozen boneless skinless chicken breasts, and six soft baguettes in a bag from their bakery. They had Gulf Tiger prawns in pound packs for about $10.99 a pound, but I decided not to get them as it looked like well more than John and I could eat at one sitting and shrimp just shouldn't sit around.

They also have a food stand, just outside the store, that basically sells what they sell, but prepared to eat. So I had a piece of pizza and John had a hot dog and we munched in the shade, and watched people streaming in and out with more stuff than seems possible.

They also have an optometrist's area and sell the disposable contacts that I have, or at least the brand. I'm -7.0 diopters in the left eye and -8.5 diopters in the right, which are a few sigma out from the normal population. So they might not stock those powers. I have to call them and get an appointment and set up a continual way to get the contacts that I need.

Markleford called again, near the end of the day, sounding frazzled and just called to talk over stuff, as he'd gotten through a meeting that was both tough and good. He'd gotten involved in the discussions to the point where he was making a lot more work for himself. Not a problem, if it keeps him occupied and unbored. That should be good. He sounded like he could use a hug and also, admittedly, sounded like I usually do after I've done something successfully that had felt momentous just a few days ago. A lot like the training stuff I'd been doing last year, where I'd had to prepare a lot of stuff, was all nervous about it all, got through it just fine, and then completely spent afterwards.

It was easier, this time. Just to talk casually for a bit. Nice, too. No punch in the gut or memories. Well, other than a thin thread of memory of the nights when I'd just hang onto the phone and talk with him softly until he fell asleep when he used to be especially lonely.


The evening was okay, ran off to the Deacons' meeting only to find just Richard and I there. Everyone else bailed out, so the two of us did all the Diaconate work for the month. I have switched days with someone so that I could be gone for the Labor Day weekend, John and I are planning on going to Portland for the Land Rover meet. There's supposed to be a concert that a bunch of the Horde is going to as well, that weekend, so we'll likely go to that as well.

John worked on pulling posts out of the ground as he's been pulling the deck apart for some time. When I got home he and Fezzik were out on the lawn, doing that.

I went in and cooked, the mini-baguettes worked much better than the bread of the previous day, toasting up soft and tender and the cheese steak stuff fit much better. I did find a mozzarella and jack cheese mix that approximated the nameless white cheese okay, especially when I sprinkled it on the cooked stuff and let it melt and then brown a bit.

It turned out marvelously.

We watched a tiger prawn episode of Iron Chef, and by the end of it I wanted to go back to Costco and get those darned prawns and make the chili bean paste version of stir-fried prawns that he'd done that was just astonishing. We took a good ten minutes to slow-mo our way through one section where they added an ingredient they didn't explain and which was really hard to ID. It was nearly liquid, solid white, and didn't thicken the sauce at all, but was added before the shrimp were reintroduced to the pan. The resulting dish was gorgeous and both John and I were salivating just at the sight.

Just that dish and a pot of rice, and I'd be happy.

Afterwards, John played more Bandicoot. Got through some really tough bits, and I played with the Boulder Dash some more, as I get pretty okay at that with a few repetitions. He did the High Road, which is all jumps across rickety old bridges with boards that fall out when you jump on 'em.

I got some letters from Raven and the poor boy isn't happy, but is learning. I miss him. I should probably just write him more.

Sleep was good, and I dreamed of being in a warrior training camp that did courses that were pretty obviously cribbed from the Bandicoot lines. There were cool secret ways that had to be found and done before I could pass. Lots of fun and it was intersting *doing* the leaps rather than just watching the Bandicoot do 'em.

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