February 23, 1998

Tom Gryn Found It!

Heh. Tom Gryn found the Czech hockey jersey on the www.nhl.com web site!! It was also about half the price I thought it would be, and is exactly what I was looking for, though in red instead of white, but I wear red pretty well and the blue's about the same as my tights. Thank you, Tom! And, yes, I bought it the minute I found it on the website.

I may have to hold off on the impulse buys for a little while after this, but that'll be after this. At least until the promised bonus comes in to roost in the bank account. I seem to have spent more in the last few weeks than I really want to; but mostly for things that have been well worth the money and for which I have an immediate need. I think that the Palm Pilot is just going to have to wait for a bit longer. If both bonusi come in, I'll likely get it then; but it'll take the means for having the luxury before I actually get it. The jersey is just gorgeous, though, too, brilliant and colorful and with that lovely shield thing on the front.

Didn't do much last night, other than write a bunch, and then get to sleep after that, still didn't finish the Monster Truck writeup and I really want to do it right as Bryant really hasn't seen a good write up from me on any of his games, yet. Mostly just the framework from a player's perspective rather than from the actual character's. It's been a while since I've thought in terms of fiction. I also rather realized last night that now would be Just the Wrong Time to apply to Clarion West. I might go to the parties and see the what people I could see, but I likely won't apply this year, no matter the promises, because it's just such a wrong year to do so.

I am in the midst of planning and playing with models for the new generation of software. It's going to be this year that proves whether or not we really can fly given the backing and time and focus of a parent company that *cares* if we do the Right Thing. We're in the perfect position, too, according to a number of indicators, some of which are actually based on practical numbers and thought and real experience. It's the time to put my whole heart in my work rather than trying to strike off in Yet Another Direction. I've never really given a career more than a seven year try. Maybe it's time I got over the Itch to start all over again, and make do with what experience I've built over the last half a decade and use it to it's full potential rather than running away from the possibility of failure yet again by saying, "Oh... I'm going to pursue my dreams and they haven't anything to do with what I've been doing for money."

I've done that once already. That was one time too many.

*laughter* A slightly more upbeat ending this time... I think that this time I might actually have enough faith in myself and in the people that I'm working with to really do this right, this time. Maybe not so much 'growing up' as having some faith, this time, in my abilities and not running away just when it really looks like it could go well.

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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