February 24, 1998


Actually went to sleep fairly quickly last night. John was a sweety and took me to Boston Market while I was ranting and raving about something that had bothered me during the day and so we had dinner really quickly and then went home to give the Fezzik dog a walk after we ate dinner. He had been inside all day because the anti-flea stuff needed about two days to settle into the earth.

Right after dinner, he gave me a solid backrub and left me to sleep while he tackled the taxes. So I slept solidly until he got into bed like an moving ice cube. *grin* I wrapped myself around him somewhat and shivered at all the cold, but eventually he warmed up too, and we slept.

Didn't get up until about 8, and I'm still kinda tired. Mostly because my whole body and my knee ached all night, waking me at odd moments here and there. It was not particularly a restful sleep, and I wonder, somewhat, if some of that is because I didn't exercise last night, and that if I sleep better when I do get some exercise. Some of it, I know, was that it is that time of the month and my whole body aches badly and I get really, really cranky for no reason at all and awfully quickly. I knew that some of my earlier bad mood was likely because of chemical nastiness, and a lot of it was just the sheer realization at the level of pain that I'm just overlooking now. It always frustrates me to realize that my moods aren't entirely under my control.

I'm kinda getting overwhelmed at all the medical attention just before leaving Group Health and I'm not at all sure that I want it all. The knee is enough to deal with at first. Dr. Emerson decided to unleash a bunch of doctors on me while I still had Group Health coverage, and it's getting just a touch overwhelming. So I may just say no and worry about things later.

I did, however, have an interesting dream last night. I had just finally put together a tool for creating senstim without having to record someone else's actions and senses. Senstim is the cyberpunk nomer for a virtual experience that engages all the senses. Sense stimulus. So that it could include touch, sight, sound, smell, taste, and the ability to model those senses using tools that were intuitive to any artist or user that wished to create using the full palette of human experience.

Up to that point, all senstim had been made simply be recording the appropriate information off a human subject that had to be modified to allow those recordings. This was a full-round palette of senses that could be sampled and mixed using body language, English or Japanese phrases, and simple requests. A woman beta testing the interface had a marvelous time digging her hand into a wall to pull out a blob of 'stuff' and using her hands to shape it smoothly into exactly what she wanted, building a woman from senses and textures from the palette she had before her. A man asked for a castle, flipped through a number of sample castles before deciding on one. Then shaped and landscaped a garden, setup a maze of bushes, colored the sky and the mountain range all around. Another dipped his finger into a palette of color to create his very own universe in a shape not quite the same as the common one.

Each found expression using the tools to create a piece of their very own reality that couldn't be found and couldn't be done in real reality. Though, eventually, each discovered that their small creation was like Prospero's Island. Cut off from the rest of humanity. So wasn't quite sure if their art was worthwhile.

Until I showed them how to share it with someone else. For the creation of their hands and minds and imagination was an expression, through the art of the tools that I had built, that could be shared. Experiences shared to provoke emotions and thoughts and other creative endeavors and the island was left behind.

An interesting dream. Especially after yesterday's thoughts.

Busy day today. Talking with Raven a lot, and clearing some thoughts up that have been hanging over me for years. Some of them having to do with my own perceptions about my own position and my own choices. So that's helped.

Did a lot of research work into possibilities.

Also had fun helping pick the coffee and also did a lot of packing today of my office. We're being moved over the weekend, so everything has to be in boxes by the end of the week, and I'm packing away all the less frequently used things that I can do without. Also had fun working over some beautiful font bits that Bryant gave me for March's layout. It's actually going to be really close to the Feburary layout, with a few changes that should make things just a little more beautiful as well as a little simpler to read.

Now that's fun.

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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