Really weird, odd, strange, stressful day today.
Lunch was actually really good. Bob and John and I went to the Asian Market and I had my usual rice noodles with grilled, marinated pork and a crisp egg roll. Just shared a pop with John and it was just satisfyingly light in all the heat, and all the fresh vegitables and light pickles made my body very happy.
I had about an hour on-line with Geoff, very short, mildly sweet, and he's very good about being very clear that he's off-line because he's simply madly busy. I enjoyed the short contact and something snapped in me at the end of last week, I think, and I'm just very much more content with the time I do get with him. He's also writing gorgeous letters again, and I'm enjoying them thoroughly.
Part of the weirdness was the opening up of the obsession again. Starling asked if I wanted to pair up and we did and did our best. I'm having all kinds of second thoughts and possible not-yet-a-buyer's regrets about it, but not really. I mean... it's a bit of magic if we do get it, a kind of icon. If we don't, then I can use the money for other things and still donate a healthy amount to the Comic Book Legal Defense Fund, maybe for something like a signed copy of something. Still. It's mildly nervewracking knowing what I've put out on the limb.
Then John had a really weird day as the son of a co-worker was found shot to death with a shotgun up in the mountains. There were two bodies, both killed by someone. They're doing the investigation into the death, but everyone was shocked and upset today. It shocked and upset me pretty thoroughly.
My massage with CeLena really showed me that I'm changing significantly, and she was fine with the idea that I might actually go a lady that specializes in pregnant women for a while. CeLena isn't quite sure how to deal with it, other than making things more comfortable for my rather tender breasts. We did good work, though, tonight, on my arms, neck, which turned out surprisingly tight, and lower back. Some of it painful, but with the knots worked out, it felt so much better.
John was great and made taco salad for dinner. For some reason the combination of lots of veggies, beans, and just a bit of meat and seasoning for flavor, along with cheese and crunched up Doritos really satisfies me deeply. And before dinner was done, my parents called to see how I was. The conversation was really keen. Mom's listening really well, and we had a useful conversation about foods and choices I'm making. Dad and I got to talk about his retirement and some of the choices he's making as he's getting asked to consult. That was really nice, to talk, in many ways, as friends, though he is so much more experienced, he asks me stuff and it's just really neat. Felt better when the conversation was done.
Still, the jacket and the murder haunted my sleep and I didn't sleep very well at all. It's nicer, here, to actually count the good things as well as the disturbing things