July 24, 1997

An interesting old argument's popped up on the diary list, and it is eating my brain a little. I might have to write a reply to all that before I actually get anywhere with other writing.

The kitchen is completely unusable, as the floor is being done today and yesterday, so all the applications are out of the kitchen and laundry room. They're also doing the downstairs bathroom, so that sould be keen. One of the halogen lamps came in yesterday and it makes a huge difference in the lighting of the place. Tom and Tetsuo noted that our house simply wouldn't have been built in Japan, the way it is. All the vaulted ceilings would be a completely waste of second story space, and they really maximize floor space for square footage of land there. That was interesting to learn.

I was also somewhat amused that those two visitors were the only two that never commented on the thousand cranes that were strung up around the living room as decoration. Nearly everyone else thinks they're remarkable because of all the work that went into them. It said something that the two Japanese never even noticed them.

Tried soy milk in my caramel latte today, and it's definitely creamier than the rice milk, and while it still tastes different, I like it.

I'm still tired, though. Achingly and terribly tired, even went to bed early last night, but menstral cramps kept waking me up at all odd hours. My dreams were an odd echo of the night's before, but not really a continuation, too patchy... but it echo'ed all my old horror from when I had to deal with patches of missing memory, always feeling and knowing that there was a reason for the blank, and meaning that I'd have to wrestle with and deal with when I dove into the darkness. <chuckle> Reminded me achingly of what the telepath, Terrance Cee, said to Ethos when he was worried that a life raising babies in peace and quiet would be too boring for Cee. I'd rather not adventure like that anymore, I could use a whole lot of boring.

Stories, stories, stories. I got a fortune cookie that said, "You've got a way with words, maximize on it." And then I found a buried cache of old stories that I'd just buried because I had thought, when I wrote 'em, that they were no good. They're actually pretty good, and now pointed to on my stories page. Had one person from the list write me to tell me that my dog was big, which made me laugh a lot. Wandered about Jay's page and laughed even more. A keen soul, and he made me think a lot about the pages that I enjoyed the most and I have to agree with him, it has to do a lot more with that touch of personality than anything to do with technical flamboyance. I'm probably going to have to figure out how to narrow the presentation space, sometime, I like how the shorter lines read.

Got the thoughts out to the list, whew, and light laughter. Aliens are, indeed, among us. It was odd to have every feeling of being utterly alien tugged on and pulled at. Never really belonging, but able to put on the masks and mannerisms around me, because they were what was wanted. All that energy spent to appear 'normal', when what I really should be doing is being what I am to the best of my ability.

Whatever, I've learned. Also really made me want to start a page on The Church of Rational Spirituality, where the Original Sin is ignorance and the sole grace is to learn. It would fit my mood, to start a religion, now.

© 1997 by Liralen Li

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