< June 9, 1998 >


My life is likely boring to anyone else, as it's just a lot of work.

But it's gotten to be higher pressure at work. Just lots to do, of one thing or another, just pressure relief, on the most part, for those that are way too busy to do anything else. It's been crazy and fun and intense and making for really long days.

These are the kinds of days when I'm really, really, really glad that I work for a small company. Where everyone contributes, everyone is there for a reason, and everyone throws themselves into the work and the job like the deadline means something to everyone. It's never a case of just throwing anything over any stupid wall, it's just everyone jumping in and grabbing what they can and getting the darned thing to *move*.

It's times like these that I no long protests about being stuck in the test engineer's slot, and actually kinda like being put on the spot for support every once in a while. It's nice to be effective in so many different ways and know that everything I do or manage to get done is another step towards helping out the whole of the company. Doing post-freeze code reviews to make sure that the fixes don't break other things, testing more things than I even knew how to run, earlier in the week. It's been good learning about more things than I thought I would do.

There are times, though, of course, where I feel utterly useless by doing all this. Lots of times when I know absolutely nothing about what I'm supposed to do next or what it is that I'm actually looking for with test cases I never designed or looked at before. Especially if someone forgot to say what it was I was supposed to be looking for in a particular case. Then it's like I have to wander around like a lost sheep bleating, "Uhm... what is it that this is supposed to do?" Really hits the internal insecurities spike big-time. So I sometimes procrastinate until there's a dire need, and then I go do it anyway and find that it's not that bad.

As John says, that's what software is all about, I guess, always jumping in places that you've never been before and acting like a total fool until you find your way around. Especially when designing something new. It's the only way to figure out what's there, sometimes.

So, anyway, spent most of the day doing that, then went home and had hot dogs and watched bad hockey (both the Red Wings and the Capitols were just too wary to make for a good game until the last part of the third period when the Capitols started trying for the tie) contemplated a J. Peterman's sale, flipped through the new Upton's tea catalog, and finally got to sleep early to get up early for more work.

© 1998 by Liralen Li.

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