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June 21, 2000
a year ago
two years ago

Mood Swings and Minimalist Oatmeal Cookies

Uhg. They really weren't kidding when they said that one should have one to two hours more sleep a night.

Zombie Li.


Dinner was good. I was kinda fainty by the time we got home, but managed to revive a bit with a glass of OJ. Yesterday morning, I'd jointed chicken wings and layered them with basalmic vinegar, a bit of canola oil, and a whole lot of South West seasoning. Good, hot stuff with lots of smoked jalapeno in it. They marinated all day in the refrigerator, and when we got home, John fired up the BBQ, and in they went. I made some of the cold peanut butter noodles, without any of the spicy stuff, as I suspected that the wings would provide plenty of that. I did make them a little more acidic than usual, as I seemed to like it. John also pulled the last of some baked beans out of the fridge and there was a whole bag of baby carrots that I'd bought the last time we were at the grocery store.

It was really good. The smokey crisp wings went really well with the coolness of the peanut butter noodles and the sweet bite of the baked beans. The wings only took a few minutes to cook through, and we were speculating as to the goodness of doing wings as a chicken substitute the next time we threw a barbeque. John said that the wings were really spicy, but the odd thing was that I couldn't taste the spiciness at all. It was just wings. I did start sweating, but never really tasted the heat. That had me kinda boggled.

I think my tastebuds are all changing on me. It's really weird. For some reason I'm really liking raw carrots, dried apricots, and whole wheat things really appeal to me. I think I could probably eat a whole box of Wheat Thins even without anything on 'em. I actually *want* the water packed tuna in cans that I bought months and months ago and never really bothered with since, and the idea of fruit and oatmeal and nuts is just really keen.

It's really strange.

I'm sure a lot of it's mental, but it just boggles me mildly that my tastes could swing that far in that direction so quickly. And to realize that the things that I picked at when I was in Pittsburgh were mostly things that were really heavy, filling, and low in real nutritional punch was amusing me. Also that the things that I loved most in San Diego really were good for me. All that sleep, too! Kinda cool to realize why I'd been tired, then. Boggles me that Monday will be seven weeks, too. Lots to be surprised by, I guess. Seven weeks, halfway through the first trimester and we'll actually be able to use ultrasound to see if the parasite has grown, has a heartbeat, has stuff going. John says we should call the embryo 'Bob' until we know what it really is. That made me giggle a lot. Probably nicer than calling it 'the parasite'.

We went to Safeway after dinner. So I had the time to actually get back up with the food fix from dinner, and I wasn't so hungry I'd buy everything in the store. We got an embarrassingly healthy selection of food, saved about ten dollars using coupons, our own bags, and the store's specials, and basically filled in my gaps of Wheat Thins and dried fruit and nuts other than apricots for snack times at work. That was useful. Just made me a little more secure.

Home again, home again. John watched TV, and I went upstairs and read books in my little nook. It was much warmer upstairs and I appreciated the warmth a lot. Just settled in and read trashy romances and cried a little at 'em. When John came up to look at me, it was a little late already, for me, I had to finish one last chapter, and then I wandered downstairs. John showered while I got ready for bed, and when I got into bed I fell dead asleep.

I dreamed of co-workers with tables and tables of food and diet suppliments just for all the pregnant ladies at work. It was really funny, in the dream, I could eat entire tablefuls of stuff and knew that it was good for me. And in the dream I was just huge. Made me giggle when I woke up and found that I'm still my less than 160 lb self. One is only supposed to eat 300 more calories a day. That's not a lot. 100 more than that, even, if one is exercising regularly, which I seem to be slaking off on. I have to start doing that more often.

I was such a complete slug getting up. Don' Wanna.

John had an 8:30 meeting, though, so time and we rolled implacably. I actually showered, and had a yogurt and some wheat germ, of all things, for breakfast. The yogurt was a whole milk yogurt, though and the extra fat really did make me feel a little funny. I hadn't believed the book, but, sure enough, a few Wheat Thins calmed things down a little. I stuck tuna salad stuff into a refrigerator holder thing and brought along a can of albacore in water, and two nice slabs of Texas Toast sliced bread for the sandwich. Turns out that Biggs has the thick-sliced white bread that I'd been looking for since eating some at Geoff's house. So we've been having yummy, thick-sliced toast fairly frequently, and it was perfect for this sandwich. I'll likely have to bake some whole wheat bread this weekend, though.

Found out, during the morning, that the adage of eat a little fairly frequently does work well against the nausea and the reason most people call it morning sickness is 'cause the stomach is the most unhappy when it's completely empty, which is after a whole night's sleep. When I got low-fat stuff into it, it calmed down just fine and I was happily left alone by my body while I worked. Odd to realize just how intrusive it can get.

So I managed to wrap my brain around a few things. That was useful. To actually study a problem and find out, with John, the details of what it would take to implement things. John took the time and patience to go through it all with me and that helped immensely. I felt pretty good about that. The sandwich that I'd planned also did really, really well as well. I liked it a lot and had a little tuna left over for a good afternoon snack that wouldn't run out on me before dinner. I am mildly worried that I'm just going to eat too much between the fact that a little food on the stomach cures nausea and the list of things that I should get a little of each day.

Oddly enough, I got hit with a big wave of depression in the afternoon again. Tired, laggy, sad, really touchy about stuff I'm normally okay at, and ready to cry at everything and nothing. I really hope this doesn't happen every afternoon. It sucks. So much for logical equilibrium.

Okay, the tuna salad helped. That is good to know. Actually went and hashed things out with the marketing folks and figured stuff out rather than just feeling awful about it. That worked out pretty well as well. I was glad to get through it all and get through it so that it actually made sense to me. Though, it became really clear to me that a bug isn't a bug unless a user deems it one, rather than just whatever seems to 'make sense' to a single marketer. Pisses me off, just a bit, when personal opinion shapes, so totally what the whole product does, now, rather than all the work we did actually working with users as to what it was supposed to do for them. What it was that they really cared about.

Anyway. It was actually fairly late when John took me home and the tuna started running out. I then had a single slice of pizza at home, I still had some aspirations about riding the exercise bike; but John got first dibs and I needed to make some cookies for snacks and filler. And the book had this really bizarre recipe. I took a really good look at it and was just boggled. There is no shortening, no leavening, no flour, no butter, and no sugar in the recipe. Well, no refined sugar, that is, plenty of fruit sugars. First heated the oven to 350 and greased a cookie sheet thoroughly. I took ten pitted dates (Safeway had a neat little box of Pitted Dates, how weird!) tossed them into 3 ounces of melted apple juice concentrate (yeah, the same stuff you get in the freezer section) and had it all in a pan. I simmered the fruit in the juice concentrate until the fruit was soft and then pulled out the stick blender and blended the stuff together until it was nice and smooth. A really thick paste of sweet and gooey fruitness. Yum. Add two tablespoons of canola oil, a cup and a half of rolled oats, a cup of white raisins, half a cup of slivered almonds and then I sprinkled on a good deal of cinnamon. Since the stuff didn't have raw egg in it yet, I tasted some of the resultant mostly glued together oatmeal and liked how much cinnamon was on it, so left it. Good balance with the fruit. Then took just an single egg white, beat it until it was fluffy, starting to get soft peaks, not stiff ones, and then folded the egg white into the oatmeal mixture, gently, so as to not break up all the bubbles. I then spooned the stuff, by the tablespoon, onto a cookie sheet, trying to pack the loose mixture together whenever it tried to fall apart. Then stuffed it into the oven for 10-12 minutes, checking at the lower time to see if they were brown, yet.

They turned out really yummy. Minimalist oatmeal cookies, no flour or fat or goop to get in the way. Just chewy, baked crisp on the edges oatmeal with lots of fruit flavors and a bit of crunchy richness from the almonds. A perfect way to end the day.

I went to bed by 9. Learned my lesson of the last few days, I guess. Tired as I was before it took me a while to get to sleep.

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