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June 23, 2000
a year ago
two years ago

A Little Control

Wow. I'm doing okay.

Spent most of yesterday on an even keel. Fed on little bits of weird cookie all day and ate about three of them all day. Not bad. All day. We went to All Pets after work to get Fezzik to his blood test. He was cool and just had blood drawn and padded back out, pretty happy. His hind end is still mildly stiff, but he's at least walking and moving okay.

I got a bike ride in, after that. John remembered that we had rosemary chicken leftovers, so we had some of those with some pasta tubes with a bit of parsley and goat cheese and a salad. It was really good, and I had small portions. I got to watch Alton Brown's Citizen Cane, which is mostly on caramelization. It was fun. Sleep was soon before 10.

The extra sleep may well be the trick, I think.

Changes, changes, changes. I've always been about changes, but even these go so quickly it's mildly scary. Usually the other changes I've done were under my control. This is like a train completely out of control. Powerful as one, too, and carrying a load of stuff that I've studied and understood intellectually, but emotionally. It's a whole 'nother ballgame.

But I seem to be coping pretty well, coping with the moments. No nausea today, whatsoever, and I didn't make an extra effort, other than halfway through the afternoon. I got a headache, instantly ate a few of the really strange cookies and it went away. Astonishing how closely linked that is. Also pretty cool that I can do something about it when I want to do something. Easy and simple and quick. Nice to feel that something is actually in my control.

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