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August 3, 2000
a year ago
two years ago

It All Goes On...

I now know I work with a bunch of accomplished and very swift moochers. Man. I set the tart down, went to my desk, told the site it was up for grabs, three minutes later, I walk into the break room and it's totally gone. Totally. I get a dozen email with, "Wow that was good! Thank you." but I'm still flabbergasted, utterly, that it disappeared that quickly. Sloooop.

The air is still hazy today. The clouds seem to promise rain, but they're mostly formed from the moisture and the smoke from all those far off fires. The air still stings my eyes and when I wake up in the morning my eyes are filled with sleep. I can only pray a bit for the firefighters all over the West. I heard that there are fighters from Canada and everywhere and they're even training National Guard folks in fire fighting technique just to spell the really exhausted firefighters that have already worked most of the summer.

Uhg. The details of the co-worker's son's death came out in the papers and he was just casually shot by the folks he hung out with from high school. Along with another guy, the shooter just shot him in the back, and the other guy in the head, and then went back and shot the son in the head twice to make sure he was dead. The shooter is being linked to a series of 24 robberies in the area, along with the other guys, and there just was some dispute among them. Bob, when he heard of it, said it's a father's worst nightmare, to have a kid deliberately go and get mixed up with that kind of people. It's so senseless, so stupid, and such a waste of lives. Depressing.

Real, but depressing.

Work itself was okay, on the most part. Stuff to do, stuff done, meetings held and life went on. Still, everyone was a bit subdued and cranky.

Lunch was a good break. Jenny and her Colin drove Cary, Bob and I to Efrain's II and we all had Mexican Cokes (made from the really old formula) and lots of good Mexican food. I craved beef, so I got a beef chimichanga with lots of salad, tomatoes, cheese and huge lumps of guacamole and sour cream. I couldn't eat the guac, sadly, as it was too spicy for me. Cary wanted guac with his burrito, so I gave mine to him and was happy to know someone else was enjoying it. That was cool. The Cokes were lovely, sweet and ice cold. The chimichanga was crisp on the outside, the beef was perfectly savory and not particularly hot, but really tasty with a bit of the sour cream and lots of the veggies. They'd put a little salad dressing on the lettuce and I enjoyed that greatly.

It was just good to talk with folks a little, too.

I have a tendency to curl up on myself, normally. I don't like talking with a lot of people, and I like listening in on a group rather than saying much. I get so exhausted in large social situations, unless I just curl up in a corner with one or two people I really like. Four others makes it easier for me to just be quiet and listen and enjoy the entertainment of their conversation. It's not rocket science to simply hold a conversation. No one is expecting perfection, but sometimes it's just scary, especially with completely new people. Then again, it's not likely that I'll say something that will be completely stupid. So I forge ahead.

Geoff has wondered why I don't game here in Colorado, before, and the excuse I offered was that it would be with complete strangers! Eek. As if I don't play with strangers all the time at conventions and as if I'd known everyone in the Horde before I played with them. I'm not sure where I get that from, but I think it stems from the same sorts of things. When I'm with Carl, I know he likes me and will like me no matter what I do or don't do, so it's safe, I guess. Maybe I just have to make my own safe space.

The afternoon was busy. I got up a lot of journal entries and also went to a meeting and did some stuff that was deemed useful. Got some very favorable reviews for some minutes I took, which was minor but pleased me.

John was done with meetings around 6:30 and the two of us decided that we'd come back into work tomorrow instead of pulling all my stuff home again and his as well. So we just went to the grocery store, and then home again, home again. We got hamburger for dinner, and John placidly cooked while I voraciously ate a peach. I needed something. I'm getting more and more hungry, which is kinda cool.

He made lovely, outdoor grilled cheeseburgers and we at them on toasted buns with slabs of tomato and leaves of lettuce. I added mayo, he slathered on mustard and it was just wonderful with the potato chips we had. I'd been craving beef even after lunch, so this satisfied that longing thoroughly. Yum.

I also decided to forego TV for part of the evening and deciphered two moves out of a tai chi chuan book, and it was as much from my memory of how the form went as anything. What was startling was hearing my knees crackle and pop terribly. But it was fun and interesting to do. I then sat down to read a bit more, and John came to bed, so we just lay there and read and talked for a good long while about the day, about dealing, and it was peaceful.

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