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August 23, 2001
a year ago
three years ago

On Our Own

Tired. Pretty crisply tired today. Bill scheduled a meeting at 9 and the first time I knew about it was when the phone rang. Ugh. John had to leave at 9 as well, and so I was scrambling to get Jet set up to take the day, and then John left, and then I had the 9 am meeting and then another at 10. Poor Jet, he was left mostly to play with himself in the office. Joan couldn't take him today or tomorrow because Ray's family was at her house for the week.

I had the two hours between 11 and 1, and when I fed Jet, he dropped off right to sleep. So I had my lunch in peace, but he woke up about ten minutes before my meeting at 1 and suffered through that partially by nursing through it. At 2, everyone else had to leave for another meeting, so Jet and I decided to go to Whole Foods.

It was something of a whim. I know that I have a problem of wanting to eat whenever I'm under stress, and this was definitely an expression of that. I am under stress. Taking care of Jet all day would actually have been fun if I hadn't had to have three hours of meetings, two of them complete surprises. And it was good for both of us to get out and do something new and see a new place.

So we piled into the Baby Buggy and headed into Boulder, and went on a shopping spree at Whole Foods. I promised myself that I'd put Jet in the sling if he was awake, but when we got there he was asleep. By the time I got him in his car seat on the cart and the cart into the store, however, Jet was awake. He was wide eyed and absorbing it all and he wanted nothing more than to sit up and really see things. So, somewhat to my chagrin, I let him. I actually unbuckled him and sat him up and wrapped his blanket around him so that he could lean forward more easily. He wasn't thrashing or wiggling or arching or the things that could have thrown him out of the seat; but it really wasn't a good excuse. He still could have done any of those things and ended up on the floor.

I'll freely acknowledge that it was dumb luck that he didn't.

Thing is he was enjoying himself so hugely, just by being able to sit up and see. He watched everything and nearly got whiplash trying to watch everyone that walked by. Jet was just so intent on seeing, all the colorful shelving, the beautiful packages, the gorgeous fruits, the brilliant vegetables, and all the shiny cases. He reached towards some of them and I pulled him into my arms to let him get to touch things. He crowed in delight on touching the shiny coolness of the freezer cases. He tried to pull a peach to his mouth. He hugged tight a bottle of maple syrup and chuckled when he squeezed a bag of cane sugar and heard the grains sliding about in the plastic bag.

That was so cool.

I ended up getting a small slab of salmon, some maple and blueberry syrup, some raw cane sugar (I like the taste), a bowl of fruit with berries and mango chunks, and then hesitated in the frozen section over some cheese blintzes. I finally bought them, and also bought myself an individual apple pie of about 9 oz. The funny thing with the 'individual serving' apple pie was that the nutritional information said that there were two servings in that little pie.

We brought our booty home only to find the Molly Maids there before us. Jet was asleep from the ride home, so I put away all the groceries before trying to get him into the house. The precaution was useful because he woke up the minute I undid the seat and we went downstairs into the basement to let him eat in peace and quiet while the vacuum cleaners were going. When they were done upstairs, we were done downstairs, and they came down with all their stuff to clean things up as John had asked for the extra service. My parents are coming next week, and it would be good for the place to be clean after Emili, Yuri and Cathie had been here.

That's when I came up to find two messages on the answering machine. One the blank of a telemarketter, and the other was Bill saying that they were having yet another meeting and to call when I could. The message was at 3 and it was 4:30. Whew.

Jet and I played and played and visited and talked and I read him a book and he chewed the corners of it as I read it to him. He's still not into books, or words, yet, but it's good to keep trying, and he'll get it soon enough.

At 5:30 I nursed him again and, again, he fell asleep, and I put him on our bed and I made myself my dinner. I had soaked some short grain rice, and started it steaming. When the rice was done, I started sauteeing the salmon steak. I also mixed up rice wine vinegar and a bit of sugar, and then made sushi rice by pouring the hot solution on the hot rice and mixing gently. I let the stuff cool while I cooked the salmon thoroughly. When the salmon was done, the rice was cool enough to handle, so I made onogiri, just big rice balls, without any filling, as I was just going to eat the salmon. It was a very simple meal, but I enjoyed it tremendously and Jet slept through the whole thing. When I'd finished the last mouthful of rice ball and salmon, I heard Jet make querying noises, and I went and picked him up before he got mad. That was very cool indeed.

John arrived back home after it was dark. The days are getting measurable shorter, now, and the three of us went out for our walk along a darkened block. It reminded me of when we'd first arrived with Fezzik, though then the days were getting steadily longer, now shorter. And we'd all gone out for a walk in the dark then, too. But with Fezzik we'd brought along a flashlight to keep track of him, and we didn't have to do that with a Jet perched in the stroller. Jet was peering around at a world he'd never really seen before and enjoying it immensely.

I finally got to unwind, though not in the time I usually got. I did, however, get to eat half that little apple pie with a touch of whipped cream while John took care of getting Jet off to bed.

I'm really glad I survived today. I think that even two months ago it would have been impossible. Jet has gotten really good at entertaining himself when he has the toys and a place to sit and play with them. He's really refining his small motor skills more and more, though mostly with the aim of putting something into his mouth. He even ended up rolling a quarter of the way across the office in pursuit of one toy that he kept hitting out of his own grasp. But by turn or stretch or grab, he actually made it piece by piece to where he wanted to be. He gets really intent and when he's frustrated with not being able to get to something he really lets me know. I'm impressed by that. I'm also not running over to give him everything he wants, either. If I wait long enough and he gets frustrated enough, he actually goes and gets what it is he wants. That's impressive, and letting him do some of the struggling seems to be really good for his developing skills

Just like doing things that seem really hard, like today, develop my capabilities, too, or so it seems. There are times, though, when I am really tired of feeling like I'm having to do a nearly fulltime job in half time. We'll see if this continues, though, I think that the surprise meetings today were the last of a job we all had to finish soon. Now that they're over, they're over and we won't have to do anymore, which is a useful thing to know. But now I know that I can take care of jet, do work, and deal with John coming home late without too much panic. That is good.

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Copyright 2001 Liralen Li. All Rights Reserved.