December 15, 1998
So most of the morning was spent putting together plans for the trip to Boulder. Yeah, only one single weekend at home, and no whole week of work this month. It's crazy. It should work. We'll see. So anyway, we're leaving tomorrow around noon, back Saturday. That should be good, give us some time at home, still.
The afternoon was spent with some project time, but my brain is so burnt out with all the other thing and with lack of sleep that I'm refusing to code. If I coded now, I'd spend the next few months trying to debug it all. That really sucks. And I'm feeling a bit like all my energy is going into this, and the stress of dealing with chaos is tying a lot of my muscles into knots. Life. Change.
One great thing was finding a friend in Boulder that I didn't really know was there, and a friend of a friend moved there six months ago, so I have some resources I didn't know about. That is good. So I talked with them for some time and just got acquainted with how they felt about the area. It was very, very good to have a very non-mundane friend say that the place as good, that Boulder was a very supportive place even if the rest of the state was kinda scary. Though, honestly, Washington state is very much that way as well. Pockets of liberalism where it can be safe, and then rampant conservatism elsewhere.
It's amusing putting a plan of attack together with John, we think alike and very much in some of the same channels, but values are very different. He thinks about things like commute times, I think of thinks like putting my blue hair down and walking through a busy mall to see what kind of attention I get, if I get any. In Seattle, there's usually no reaction other than a child happily speaking up about blue hair. In Gallup, NM, everyone stared at me. It was interesting how the attitude was different. In SF, I was noticed, but no one was rude about it or particularly shocked. It should be interesting as an emotional barometer for me. One of those things that I'm aware of and like to experiment with a bit.
I'm getting obsessed by bath fizzies. I'm going to have to make some for myself. Jasmine and rose and other Stuff. It's going to be interesting. I just have to find some almond oil, citric acid and... well... time.
Oops. I guess I really should pack tonight, and I really should, uhm... figure out other things tonight, but it's so tempting and such a thing for my obsessive mindset.
Mark got on-line today for a bit, and it was nice to talk with him again, though his work situation isn't going at all well. Maybe I should just build a ranch house on some ranch out in Colorado and have people just live there if they want to. They have to figure out food for themselves, but housing would set. Maybe.
Gah. All these possibilities in my head are making it hurt.
Though, admittedly, I will admit and recant and all that, that it's far, far, far better to have all the possible choices than to have none at all. I'm grateful, utterly.