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January 2, 2001
a year ago
three years ago

Build Up

A 9 am meeting on the first day back after, for most people, a week long, plus time off. It was a really weird meeting. People weren't into it, they were punch drunk, unprepared, and unwilling to really do all that much. Everyone was mildly grumpy and frumpled and looked tired.

It was very interesting.

Lunch was with Howard, who was visiting Boulder friends from San Jose. It was a yummy lunch and interesting company.

The afternoon wasn't particularly productive. Some of it was because I'm just feeling really large and unhappy about it for some reason. Some of it was just that work is already way late, so when I was being driven home, a bit late because John had a late meeting, I was pretty depressed. We stopped at Safeway to get some food and a refill of my vitamins; but the pharmacy didn't have all 100 pills. So the pharmacist said that we'd get 30 and no charge for the other 70! But he actually charged us for all 100, when I thought he meant that with the inconvenience he wouldn't charge us for the 70 at all. It took John nearly 15 minutes of waiting simply to make that clear. Growl.

So I was really hungry when I got home. Frozen chicken pucks were baked in a toaster oven while I boiled water for the spaghetti, and when the spaghetti was done, I piled spaghetti in the baking pan, topped it with the chicken, poured sauce all over everything and then sprinkled moz on top of everything and stuck it back in the oven. John made salads, and when the top was melted and bubbling, we ate. I'd made way too much for the two of us, but at least there was enough for both of us.

John and I talked about stuff and it turns out that he, too, felt like December had been a really strange month. With the hit of Fezzik dying and then scrambling to get everything done for the holidays. We'd both been stretched and stressed, and with the kid getting bigger and bigger in me, I'm getting more and more tired and drained. My digestive system isn't working as well as it was. I'm getting gas and heartburn at night. Joints hurt, back and hips hurt, and when the Fish is really wiggly, now, at night, when I'm lying on my side some of the motions are now strong enough to almost hurt. The splints are starting to wear on my nerves, as the Velcro on them is starting to itch pretty badly. While my hands don't hurt at night anymore, with daytime use, they still swell and ache.

My right hand has no grip anymore, either. No strength whatsoever, especially when it's swollen I nearly can't even close the hand at all. I think that I was hoping that with the time off and the splints at night making them feel better then that the hand would be better during the day. Looks like I'm just going to have to wait until the birth to really get my hand back.

Lots of small discomforts adding up to big bad shit. I should just find something to do about some of it.

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