previous next index

January 23, 2001
a year ago
two years ago
three years ago

Tired

Gods, I'm tired.

Worked really hard all day and when John called to say that he was ready to go, I actually came back to consciousness and blinked and the tiredness hit me in a wave. Baby's so low, I could feel muscles suddenly unclenching from around him when I finally stopped concentrating so fiercely at work. It was like my body had been fiercely saying, "No going out until we're done with this!"

It's been a very busy day. Lots to get done with the deadline barreling down on me that I can't really predict and can't really do anything about. So I've been working away like crazy at the things that have to be done before I go. I'm finally used to having a right hand that won't close all the way and the stiffness just... well... it *is*. Can't do anything about it, so I work and write and whatever anyway.

John was a sweetie and made us an egg and bacon on English Muffins this morning, cooked my egg to perfection. He's been doing a great job on learning how to fry an egg so that it's solid in the center and I don't have to worry about it. So that was a most excellent breakfast. We ate the last grapefruit today and he was giggling over the fact that the Fish had better be born soon as we were out of grapefruit!

I don't seem to be craving it as hard anymore.

I accidentally left my lunch on the kitchen counter, so went out for lunch when it was time. I wanted a meatball hero, so went to the place that made such great cheesesteak to get one, and, sadly, it was good, but not great. The meatballs were just a bit too tender, and the sauce they were in was mildly nondescript. They did slather them in good cheese and the roll was toasted to perfection, but the texture of the meatballs, themselves, wasn't quite what I wanted. Just too soft. Ah well, it was fun to get and eat and then go to Target to get more shields for my Visor and find a 6 for the price of 4 rechargeable batteries for the digital camera. We were trying to take pictures last night and one set of batteries just died very quickly.

Back to work. Cary was at work today, too, and it turns out that he had strep, which is why he was so sick. So he told me that I really needed to be tested. Since I'd had a strep culture taken just this last week, I called up Jan, the nurse, and asked her about what to do. She said that unless I'm symptomatic, I didn't have to worry about it. If I did come down with the sore throat and everything, then they'd take a throat culture to be sure and then we'd worry about antibiotics. It was a very reasonable answer.

So I buried myself in work stuff, and didn't surface until John called. A co-worker noted that I looked pretty tired, as we were leaving, and I noted that it was not just tired from work today, but just tired of being so darned pregnant. I was pretty devastated. Nearly fell asleep in the car on the way home. Felt horrible, just heavy and exhausted. When the Fish wiggles now, it really massages all my organs and it feels just really strange. Poor little guy, has no clue and is all squished in there. He often wedges himself up against a side, now, just pushing a bit to move a little. When we got home, I flopped into a chair by the desk in the kitchen and John puttered about a little before he got started making dinner. The phone rang, and it was Kathy. She apologized for waking me up, which cracked me up a little; but it was really, really good to talk to her. So we talked while John made Manwich sammiches using the hamburger buns I'd made the other day, and it was really refreshing just to talk for a while.

When John was done, we said our good-byes and I ate.

One of the cool things we talked about was Chinese New Year. We'd never really celebrated it much when we were kids, so I had no idea what one was and wasn't supposed to do on New Years Day. Turns out that it's a bit like American New Year, with the idea that the day is a forecaster for the year to come and there were certain foods to be eaten for luck and certain foods to be avoided. One is to avoid spending money otherwise the money will just keep going out for the rest of the year. I thought that was pretty Chinese in nature. There's also eating fish on this day, as the word for fish is a homonym with good fortune, jade, and happiness.

Hm. Maybe there's more subconscious stuff going on than just whimsy to why I keep calling the baby the Fish.

With the New Year being tomorrow, it looks like the Fish is going to be a Snake in the Chinese horoscope. Should make for a very interesting kid.

Eating helped some. I also finished Protecting the Gift and was glad to be through with it as some sections of it are really, really hard. There were things in it that really touched on some of the things that happened last year, with the co-worker's teenaged son and the younger child as well. I never knew that 50% of American's don't really know who their children's friends are, and how important that can be in keeping a child safe. Knowing what the consequences are of being ignorant of that information, now, in a very concrete sense, brought that chapter home pretty hard.

Depressing, a little bit, but better to know.

I was feeling tired enough that I moved on. I had John find the first Harry Potter book for me from the baby bags, and I started that. I needed something lighter, and there were enough books that even if I started labor tonight, I'd likely not be able to get through all the books. So I read, took a bath that wasn't hot enough, quite, and then went to bed. John's cold, sadly, kept him up, so he moved over to the livingroom. He told me to tell him if I started having contractions, which made me giggle.

Both John and I are definitely looking forward to when John can take care of the kid, too, instead of just serving to take care of the kid by taking care of me. It'll be very good to have him not left out anymore.

[ Previous | Next | Index | Mail ]