previous next index

June 18, 2000
a year ago
two years ago

Fathers' Day

So it's still kinda unbelievable.

We did, however, tell folks at work on Friday, and the first thing my boss did was say, "That means we're really going to have to focus on the staffing problem, then." That made me giggle, some; but he's right. My due date is around code freeze and all the really hard stuff comes after that. It's going to make for a really interesting release, all around.

Went to the Taj for lunch with everyone and told Jenny there, and she jumped up and hugged me thoroughly and everyone at the table got to find out there. Everyone also happily ate a lot at the really tasty buffet. It wasn't particularly spicy but it was yummy. I ate a lot, nearly too much, as when I got back to my desk I nearly fell asleep.

That was pretty funny. Didn't get much done at work.

Everyone on-line got to find out as well, and I was particularly well occupied by all the congratulations, name recommendations and all that. It was pretty intense.

It felt so odd seeing how many people were so very intensely happy for me and for John. It's just so weird thinking it all through. I've been so solidly focussed on simply getting pregnant that, lately, I hadn't thought all that much about being pregnant. I'd thought that through years ago, when I decided to try having a baby at all. It took me enough years simply to come to that conclusion that it seemed a signpost for the way I wanted to travel. Then came finding out that it wasn't going to be easy.

The whole thing through surviving the surgery, getting through the recuperation, getting myself back together, and then trying for a while during the most stressful period of a software release was just a 'next step' plodding kind of thing. Now that I actually have read through the first few months of what is involved in a pregnancy, through most of the physical changes that are going to happen to my body, through some of the latter stages of what postpartum depressions are like, as well as all the possible physical damage that can be done when a kid is delivered it's finally sinking in. That all these changes are irrevocable. That I'm changing permanently and that my body will be very strange to me in only a few months time. After working so hard to learn what it is and how it works it seems an odd kind of loss.

I already feel like I'm nearly permanently PMS'ed and it's just a real pain. Moody and easily irritated and my whole body is a bit more tender and so much more easily tired. Riding the exercise bike is a real chore, now, when it wasn't just a month ago. It's so odd how much changes how quickly. It's mildly scary as well. Everything up in the air as to just how much change is in store. How 'interesting' will life get?

I slept for tweleve hours Friday night, well into a cloudy Saturday morning. There was rain. Gorgeous, wet-smelling rain, everywhere. A good thing against all the fires burning north and south. They were even talking about finally being able to contain the fires. The many hundreds of fire crew folks were going to get a little help and needed it after the low humidity and high wind days of the week. Didn't do much other than read.

We did go see Titan A.E., which was very pretty, had some very interesting characters, and some cool premises. It did have a few suspension of disbelief holes, but nothing that totally ruined it for us, at least. Though the strict folks might find it really hard to swallow in short moments. I really enjoyed it, especially the ending. John and I are going to have to drag Bob and maybe Andrew to go see it. I'm not at all sure if it's the type of movie Mai would watch.

Odd to realize that I want Mai and even Bob and I to talk Mandarine to the baby, just so that it can actually develop the 'ear', more the synaptic connections necessary for actually hearing the four tone differences that are in Mandarin. It'll likely be a duty for Mom and Dad, too, when they come to visit, that they must talk with the kid in Mandarin, so that it'll be able to hear the difference when it's grown. Odd how neurophysiological knowledge can actually play a difference in how a critter is raised.

Sunday was The Walk, and the problem was dualfold. First, Fezzik was limping last week, so hadn't been able to go with everyone. So he wasn't quite in as good a shape as he normally is. Also, this week, Tom and his wife brought three dogs and two kids, so that there was much, much more for Fezzik to get interested in and chase around and follow. Then, on the uphill beginning, Fezzik chased a whole different pack *down* the hill and had to do the whole thing up the hill again. So by the time he was at the long straightaway along the top his rear legs just weren't working when he was demanding anything more than a walk from them. There were long moments when he was just dragging his rear end around while trying to chase one of the new dogs into and out of the water. He just was oblivious to the pain and wouldn't do anything different and just went wild trying to chase this other dog. Finally I had to put him on a leash to keep him from abusing himself some more, and then, on the downhill, his rear legs started to just give out from under him completely. There were more and longer rest stops and finally Matt and John had to carry him the last leg down, from the water under the bridge, to the entrance gate.

It was kinda cool that people asked if he was okay, since they saw him carried down. That was nice. And he seemed happy and content to just lie there while we shopped at Costco. He was, again, an idiot, and jumped out of the truck when we opened the back door enough. He promptly collapsed on the driveway, all his legs just giving out from under him. The rest of the day saw him hobbling about for short distances and then lying down again.

I have a feeling the arthritus in his knees is just getting that much worse, and that we really need to step up the treatment to include painkillers as well as the food suppliments. He has to keep moving. When he stops being able to move, it's going to be really bad.

Both of us called our Dads and Mom jumped in, when I was calling my Dad, with a bunch of advice, admonishments and stuff. It was pretty interesting, since she'd been so quiet when we'd called Thursday. Not a terrible thing, but most of the stuff she was trying to get through had beeen covered in the pregnancy book, so it was good. A few things were further updated, which was also good. I am glad, however, that my body seems to like the pre-natal vitamins and gets something out of 'em. I haven't been sick at all when I take them regularly, so I think I'll keep that up. Dad told me that I ought to bring John out to dinner, as he was a Dad-to-be and it was worth celebrating. Bob and Mai promised to babysit and they also said that they'd like to celebrate with us. It might be premature, as the first trimester is the most uncertain, but it might also be just plain fun.

Lots of No's. Quite a few Must's.

I'm really going to have to watch my diet and figure out a different way of food approach, especially if morning sickness actually gets to me. The book actually cited that stress and suggestibility were some of the causes of some morning sickness. Since society deems it nearly necessary to have some kind of morning sickness when one is pregenant, it seems a kind of odd expectational pressure. Some nausea is to be expected, but having lots of small meals is supposed to help that out. We'll see how this works out. So far, I haven't had too much of a delicate stomach, yet, just a bit of gas, sometimes. I can think that I might be lucky.

It's all mildly sobering. Just a whole new adventure, in the end, I guess, and one that I'd have had problems doing later on in life, given the whole age of the ovum thing. I'm getting old and older and I guess I should do this while I have the time. Then again, John and I were originally thinking about retiring first and then raising kids in a completely different way. But, as usual, we eliminated the high risk item in the setup first. Given that it was so hard to get pregnant, this was the better thing to take care of first. If retirement is a few years off, we can deal with that, but a few more years and the baby stuff wouldn't have been nearly as good.

Naps are good. Sunday afternoon I managed to nap. Sleepier, now, than I've been before, the metabolic changes are really taking a solid toll on my energy and I'm actually feeling it. It's kinda scary and kinda weird. I really don't want to exercise, either, but the morning's walk was pretty solid. Lots of things to learn as everything changes again.

So John and I decided to go to Outback Steakhouse for dinner, as it was open longer on Father's Day. When we called, however, there was about an hour long wait, so we just waited another hour and then went. It was a good tactic as at 9 p.m., there was no wait whatsoever. That was very nice. Rare for that restaurant. So we enjoyed a good, leasurely dinner. I had ribs and chicken breast and saved half the meal for tomorrow, a good high protein, low fat meal, with a few vegetables. With a few trips to the grocery store I seem to have picked up a lot of food, so the freezers and the refrigerator are all pretty packed. My. Nesting started early.

[ Previous | Next | Index | Mail ]