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June 25, 2001
a year ago
two years ago
three years ago

Weird Night

9:23 am: Jet had the weirdest night he's had in a long time. He didn't get to sleep until nearly midnight. He was wide awake and wanting to play really hard during his usual last feeding. He was wiggling and pulling and everything while I was trying to feed him. Then he refused half of his bottle when it was offered him and proceeded to scream every time John tried to put him down.

Then Jet had some big burps around 10, and then, finally, ate a two ounce bottle at 11. He went to sleep for exactly 15 minutes and then proceeded, once again, to scream. Knowing he was dry, knowing he was fed, and knowing there wasn't anything else we, realistically, could do, we finally just let him cry for ten minutes. I got up after that, got his cold legs into a sleeping bunting and he fell instantly asleep. I know he wasn't up because he was cold because it was nearly 80 in the house, still.

We were expecting to get up every hour for the rest of the night, so, of course, Jet didn't wake up again until 5:22! I had to pump at 3, and I helped John feed him at 5:22, but we went back to sleep pretty quickly. Jet went back to sleep even more quickly. That was surprising, and even more surprising was that at 8, when John and I woke up, Jet still wasn't awake, yet. So John and I weren't as trashed as we'd expected ourselves to be.

When John went into Jet's room, Jet was just waking up and looking around himself. He wasn't terribly hungry, so we had breakfast first. And even then, he was playing more than eating, so he and I played for a while before he finally settled down to eat. Whew.

8:10 pm: Morning work went just fine. Jet was a very happy and playful guy all the afternoon and while he fell asleep a couple of times while nursing, he didn't stay asleep. So he didn't have a solid nap all afternoon, but he was still pretty happy and played a lot.

I tried to tire him out by playing with him a lot after lunch, but at 2:30 he woke right up after nursing. I laid him down in his crib, and he laid there quietly for a while as we worked some more. He eventually got fussy, but it was a while. Then I just turned on his aquarium for a while and he liked that a lot, too. Eventually he got tired of it, but the mobile worked for a while as well. Then I put him in his reclining chair and he played, smiled at me a lot, and started talking. He was pretty quiet at first, but then gradually got louder and louder.

John was on the phone for a meeting, sadly, and got pretty disturbed by the noise. So I had to pick Jet up and take him downstairs, where we played a lot more. John came down at 4:15. I was feeding Jet 'til 4:30. Then John took him and decided to make chocolate chip cookies. It smelled really nice upstairs.

I worked for the next hour. I will readily admit that I really like having time away from Jet. I can stop feeling guilty about that. If I take care of myself I can take care of Jet better, and that's just a truth.

I also got mail from Mom and Dad saying that they really liked Jet's pictures for the last couple of weeks. The new pictures really show Jet as a chubby, cute, active little guy. He's now got the neck support to be picked up under the arms, which is a very good thing given how heavy he now is. He can play more, and do more things, and even almost sit up like in all the really cute baby portraits. Some clever propping is needed and the Boppy cushion really makes for a good failsafe if he does fall over.

One really interesting thing is that Jet is a bit like John and I about pain, i.e. it doesn't much bother him. He'll fall over, whack himself in the eye, or bang his head on something and, on the most part, he'll just keep going and doing whatever he wants to do. No crying for him at a small jolt. He'll still cry at a big nastiness, but all the small stuff doesn't matter to him.

John made fish slabs and baked fries for dinner while I fed Jet. It was yummy and Jet played and watched us eat. I let him snack a bit at 7:15 and watched Mario Eats Italy, which is just the funniest title. He was in Parma and covering the making of Parmagean a Reggiano. It was really cool to see how the formation and treatment of the curd really shaped how the cheese turned out. The natural flakiness comes from breaking up the formed curd into rice-sized bits before doing a bit of heat curing.

I really liked the show, and it's nice to be able to watch it on tape. I can stop when Jet gets upset, and go when I can still pay attention to the show. I do a lot of taping of things I really want to watch in detail, now. All of the Good Eats episodes, of course, get that treatment.

Jet was pretty tired and grumpy all evening. He is very different from yesterday, so there's some chance he won't repeat yesterday's strangeness. Then again, he's almost always done something different nearly every night. If there's anything predictable about his nights it's that they're unpredictable.

I hate surprises, but I seem to be dealing with a boy that serves them up every single night. I now try and say, "I'll sleep for now, whenever he wakes up is when he wakes up." And trying to let go of any possibility of planning the night, other than making what he might eat if he does get up.

This morning, when Jet got up at 5, John started to make formula for him. He was putting the water in the microwave when I said, "You're not microwaving breast milk, are you?" He was totally unprepared for getting up at 5 am and having a bottle of expressed milk ready. Usually he has to make formula for that feeding as we've already used the bottle before that time.

I usually fill the middle of the night bottle to 4 ounces before Jet goes to sleep so I can just pop it in the bottle warmer when I do feed him. I plan what I can, but I really need to practice letting go of the fact that the nights really are completely out of my control. So it is.

Joan is really cool. She's having fun taking care of Jet, but she's also glad that when she gives him up, her two kids are mobile and far more independent of her. It's a good glimpse into future possibilities. Jet's going to get more and more independent as time goes on. I think he's going to stay a basically happy guy with plenty of assertiveness about when he's got a reason to be unhappy, as that seems to be a central characteristic since his first days. That's good enough for me.

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