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November 9, 1999
a year ago

Road Blocks


Courage and consciousness.

Stocks are really weird. Qualcomm is just shooting off the map and I keep wondering if I shouldn't get on that train, too, but then I look at Xilinx stock and just shake my head. Kathy is happy. That's good. My Mom and Dad are happy, that's good, but this stock stuff is eating my brain.

Problem is that it's the perfect thing for my brain. I love absorbing large amounts of data. My main problem, though, is that I'm entirely emotional about what I do and what I want to do. This is a bad place for emotions, but it's not a bad place for trends and feelings. Easy and better to look into what's behind the fronting than to just react. The one place that I've found a whole lot of good information has been Fool.Com, which has as a goal the desire to change the world through education.

It's funny. I hear so many people complaining about how American's don't save; and here is an entire company dedicated to educating people so that they not only know why they should save but how. All the various how's and why's and what can you really get. It's so very cool. Kathy and Lucianus pointed me in this direction and I've slowly been absorbing the whole site. Bit by bit.

The spectacular rise of Qualcomm caught us all a bit off-guard, though there were public announcements and everything, including the 4:1 split and all. Still... Yeesh. It's up nearly 100 points in just ten days. That's completely insane.

So, with all good intentions I went into work to work. I had the usual morning meeting that ate up time afterwards until lunch and then I started building all the new code that everyone had checked in. I ran into a few snags and then got email from Kathy about what was going on with Qualcomm stock. Yeesh. It's like watching the ocean, I think. All that motion and unpredictability. It just kinda is and what it does it does and there's no predicting it. No laws of physics. Each day and each stock is different and there really isn't such a thing as momentum or anything. Things just happen.

It's weird.

Anyway. I then burned the rest of the afternoon fighting all the problems I was having just building stuff and getting it into an area where I could test it with any meaning. I was rather disappointed, mostly because I wanted to do something; and in some ways this really was doing something, in that I'd have to fight this battle sometime, and the good thing about how hard it was was that we're now going to do something better in the future. So that's good.

So I ended up in a pretty good emotional space after work, which was very nice indeed.

It really helped having a few folks (hi, Jason! hi, Tom!) tell me that they really liked seeing the journal back and that they were a bit worried when it went away for a while. I think that I've learned that it really is better if I do get this going rather than just sitting on my awareness.

Lunchtime was very busy and very fruitful, too. I actually got some good stuff for lunch, John and I got some signing of some papers done that should free up a bit more money, and then we went to the Back Store to look for some things. Sadly the store was both overpriced and understocked, so we didn't actually get anything that we really wanted. The full-body pillow I wanted was $35 +$20 for a cover, and mail order it's just $29 for both. So I'll likely just mail-order it. That should be good.

Dinner was cobbled out of leftovers and available things, homemade mac and cheese, hot dogs, and some of the Chinese broccoli with some spicy oyster sauce I found in the cupboard. Yum. It was a good meal and we got to see the tape of the yogurt battle of Iron Chef. That was really funny, especially since the French-Italian-Japanese cuisine guy picked the Chinese chef who just boggled when the ingredient was named. It's not something that's used much in Japan, if at all, and not much at all in Chinese food. So it was completely new to the Chinese Iron Chef.

That was a very creative battle. Loved it.

Afterwards, we watched random episodes of stuff somewhere, and eventually I just went into the bathroom, lit up a bunch of candles and just watched the flames for a bit before brushing my teeth and going to bed. Sleep was sweet. After all the struggle today, I should get more done tomorrow.

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