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April 23, 2001
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Today was the day I'd been dreading. Mom wanted us to go to the zoo. It's half an hour just to get there, so it means that I'm going to have to feed Jet in public while we do this. It's also longer an outing than we've had in a long time and I'm not sure how it's all going to work, or if Jet will just be upset and cry when it's such a long outing. I dunno. It's just scary for me because it's really obvious that Mom and Dad feel like they can just do all the things they're used to doing with Jet in tow and they don't care about what it'll do to him or, perhaps more realistically, what it is that *I* can take or want to do.

Especially with once every two hour feedings. It's just scary.

But we did it anyway. John wanted the walk, as it felt good to walk yesterday. And I kind of wanted to sleep, but for the trip to work out someone was going to have to feed him during the trip and if I had to wake up for the pumping anyway, it wasn't going to be too much of a nap.

So we took off. It was a really hot day, especially compared to home. The zoo was as beautiful as ever, and we'd brought the stroller, so Jet was going around in comfort and ease. He also had his sunglasses and got to wear them for a while as some of the areas were really sunny.

It was kind of funny because Mom really wanted to show Jet particular things, and Jet's not really focusing on specific things yet. He's still figuring out what he's looking at, I think. He gets faces, especially familiar faces, but things like giraffes, elephants, orangetangs, pandas, and the like don't mean much to him yet. Jet was almost happier looking at all the people crowded around various enclosures than the animals in the enclosures.

Still, it was a cool outing for him as there were tons of new things to look at. When I started dripping, we all stopped to eat lunch, drink some liquids and Jet got to eat through my new nursing t-shirt. I had my back to the rest of the lunch enclosure, but people were walking by in front of me to the bathrooms. Still, no one stared, got upset, or had a problem with it, and I felt pretty comfortable doing it. That was pretty cool. It also helped that Jet was so much happier after eating.

He just went to sleep in the stroller after his lunch. We went looking at a few more displays and then we headed out. We put a blanket over the front of the stroller so that he would be protected from the sunshine and it also cut down the wind so he wouldn't get blown on too badly. We dropped by the gift shop as we left, and I found some really cute thank you notes. With all the baby gifts we've been getting, it's been cool going through some really nice notes.

On the way home, Dad wanted to go to a fish place, too, but Jet started to get cranky, so I said that they should take us home, first, and then they could go to the fishmonger if they needed to. So they dropped us off home, and Jet ate happily in the security of the livingroom and then when Mom and Dad got back, I happily handed Jet over to them and I went directly to bed. Naps are good.

When I woke up it was the usual hour and a half later, and I brushed my teeth and put myself back together and heard cheering from the livingroom. Jet was starting to get a grip. He's starting to grip toys, hands, and things when he's presented with them. He'll wave them around a bit, and happily bang himself in the head with something, too. Sometimes he'll hold onto something for a bit, then fling his arm in some direction and will have let go in the process, so he'll fling the toy a few yards. The cheer was for a grab and fling.

That's pretty cool. Kathy was also letting Jet play with her hand by putting her hand over his chest and he'll just encounter her hand while he's moving randomly, and now he'll actually hang onto her moving fingers or her hand. Seems a good enough way to teach him how to hang on tighter.

Kathy had arrived for dinner, though she was a little miffed to have called in the morning and gotten no one at home. She hadn't wanted to go on the zoo trip, but still wanted to know what was going on. Still, she'd arrived when we were home, and Mom and Dad were making a salmon dinner for us, so that was all to the good.

Dinner was yummy and much fun with Jet winning when he started fussing when people were still eating. Mom fed him his last feeding and obviously was delighted with the job.


It's so odd to come back to this house with my own child. All the memories of being a teenager for the one year I was really living here now all mixed with Jet thoughts and memories. It's interesting to see him see himself in the mirrors I'd always seen myself in in the bathroom that was off my room. Odd to change him on the card table I remember seeing at parties when I was a kid, strange to have him in the hallway that was always so dark. It's just the juxtiposition of Jet, who is so new to my life, to stuff that is so old to my life. Still, it's interesting to have the contrast.

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