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February 21, 2003
a year ago
two years ago
three years ago
four years ago
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Losing Liam, Haircuts, and China Buffet

Today was a weird day.

It started out entirely normally. Both John and I were pretty trashed by the last couple of weeks. I got up at 5:30 when Jet did and I played with him and did stuff with him until John was up at 7:30. I then went back to sleep and didn't get up until nearly 9:30. I didn't have any meetings today, and I really needed the sleep.

I started work around 10, ate some of the granola from yesterday, and it was really good. I had a mildly sluggish start, and there were a few phone calls that John fielded. Then there was one where I heard him start with a cheerful, "Hello! How are you doing?" then there was silence for a while, and a very quiet, "Oh no!"

John came up after hanging up and told me that it was Lisa, calling to tell all the toddler parents that Liam had died. No one really knows how. He was being rushed to the hospital in am ambulance when he died, it could have been anything that a two-year-old is capable of, but it was terrible that he had died of it. It hit John very hard. It hit me hard later, as it sunk in.

There go I but for the grace of God.

Jet's capabilities have far, far outstripped his judgement of situations. He does things that could kill him, and there are times when we can't watch, when we can't be right there between him and accidents. Things happen.

It's terrible that they lost their son. That was far too close. Even closer was the fact that last weekend, while I was gone, John sat on Liam, his big brother, and Jet as he took his turn doing Quiet Room duty. So John was even closer than I could have been. Liam was a great little kid, smart, sassy, sweet, and fun. He really liked playing with Jet.

I wasn't very good at working after that. We went and got Jet from Joan's, and I held him while he nursed, and prayed a bit, for him, for Liam, for Liam's parents, for all the folks that had cared about Liam. It was very odd to have the combination of grief for Liam and gladness that I still have Jet.

So we worked while Jet slept.

When Jet got up, I shared miso ramen with him, with corn and sliced ham. He just ate some of the noodles. He's had some bad diarrhea this morning, so I wasn't surprised that he wasn't eating much. We played for a while, and then at 3, I went back to work for a while. Jet cried as I left, but John started playing with him and he was okay with that.

At 4 we left for Longmont and the Statements beauty salon. Linda was ready for us, and Jet actually went first! He even had his haircut, this time, without a lollipop. He just sat there, and let Linda do what she wanted to do. I was quite impressed, especially with all the chasing around of him that we normally have to do to do nearly anything with him. So he was great, and just sat there quietly and endured the whole thing.

John went next, and it was quick with a number 2 buzz cut. I went next, and my hair was *long*, so Linda hacked away with a razor and got it early buzz short. Then she said that she'd been doing a tinting and color class and said that a cherry red would look really cool on the tips. I asked if we'd have to bleach first, and she said that the color itself would lighten things. It would only take half an hour, so I said sure!

Half an hour compared to the hours the bleaching and color used to take seemed pretty cool. Plus, we'd reserved from 4:30-6 and it was only 5:20. Jet was doing really well with a big box of curlers, and he loved playing with them. So I had the time. That was cool. So we did it. Linda spiked my hair, we painted on the dye, and I sat under a dryer to heat treat it for fifteen minutes. It was really nice to just sit and read for a little bit.

Then we rinsed it out and she spiked it all up again. It looked pretty punk, and it was just a layer of copper over the black of my hair. Not quite as red as she'd wanted it or as purple as the dye had promised, but I liked it well enough, It's unique.

We went, from there, to the China Buffet. It had opened at the beginning of the year, and we hadn't had a chance to try them, yet. The buffet was huge. I carried Jet with me for the first loading up and John did his plate and Jet's as well. There were six different bars to the buffet, with two that were filled with salad, fruit, sushi and ice cream. There was one that was just desserts, and three that had all kinds of main dish items. It wasn't the best Chinese food I've ever had, but for only nine bucks for dinner, it was quite good.

Jet liked the white rice, with soy sauce. He nibbled a potsticker and an egg roll, but didn't really eat much of them. I wonder if we should have also offered some Jell-O or fruit, but he just hasn't been eating much today.

He started running around our table, when he was done. He did pretty well staying close for a while, and the he started running off further. So John got desserts, and Jet came back for that. He ate all the icing off a cake and I had to giggle. In one of the recent Good Eats they'd said that 80% of Americans eat the cake first, before the icing. Jet was unique. *grin*

From there we headed to Safeway and Jet got to run around some more. He's taken to shrieking at random intervals. When we put him in the cab of the truck carts, he drove for a while, then started climbing out, and we let him go. One of us chased him while the other one got things off the list. I did a lot of the chasing because John had done it for so long last weekend. So he got to shop for a bit. Turns out that when he went shopping with Jet last week, he'd put Jet in one of the front facing seats of the carts that were made for that, instead of the truck carts. Jet, then, had been wonderful, just sat there, drumming his heels and he hadn't gotten nearly as excited and crazy as he was tonight.

It took a while to get him strapped back into his seat. I sat back there with him and fed him cookies while we went home so that he'd stay awake. We got home, no problem, and Jet revved down and played a lot. When John said that he was going to read to him, Jet pointed at me, instead, and he wouldn't get into John's lap. We traded places, and Jet climbed right in and I read him "Green Eggs and Ham" four times. The last two times, he would trace the words with his finger, and I'd read the word as he pointed to it.

He liked that.

Finally, he just turned over, and went to sleep in my arms. I rocked him a while longer. John took him upstairs to sleep while I took a shower, rinsed out all the goop from my hair, and washed all the hair bits from my body. I itched badly. Then I got a mug of hot water and drank a good deal of it before going to bed. Mmmm... sleep.

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