previous next index

January 25, 2001
a year ago
two years ago
three years ago

More Practice

John crawled back into bed when my alarm went off. He hadn't slept at all well last night, and just decided to stay home and sleep today. So he did, and I showered and got in in plenty of time for my first, early meeting. I'm glad he stayed home as he sounded and looked really miserable.

I actually feel pretty okay today. I think I'm finally getting used to the additional weight and all the changes in my body that have happened to accommodate it all. I still get tired a lot faster, but I'm also getting to sleep after getting up a lot better, which should stand me in good stead when the Fish actually comes home separate from me. I found that I was just generally happy. Dealing with stuff without scrambling and just getting through a lot of things.

Work was work.

Lunch was Siamese Plate To Go, which is a little cafeteria/restaurant with a frozen and canned Asian foods section right in the place, where you can get a few things that can't be gotten normally. It's very Americanized, though, sadly, and while the service is very fast from the cafeteria hot plates, the food itself is kind of sad. I got the usual test dish, the chicken pad tai, and it was greasy, cooled off, the noodles were broken, and while the bean sprouts were fresh and the peanut meal was good and the lime was fresh to squeeze, the dish itself lacked taste. They also had tom kai gai, the coconut and citrus soup with chicken and mushrooms and herbs. It was actually pretty tasty and creamy, but I'm also used to it being hot enough to clear sinuses and it was very bland in that regard.

It was food, though, and I was full by the time I left. That was good. Three hours of meetings in the afternoon, which were pretty good on my hands.

Before going home I called John and he said that he'd drunk the last of the orange juice and we were out of tomatoes and lettuce, so that we probably needed those things. I could do with the walk in the grocery store, to be honest, and so I went and got stuff. I also picked up some cream cheese coffee cake and a few, big, ripe grapefruit. The bagged bulk grapefruit was much cheaper, but I was tired of occasionally hitting a green grapefruit that would make me pucker up horribly. The cashier at my checkout peered mildly at me as I came up and said, "No baby yet, huh?" She was the one that had had the cheesecake and McDonald's cravings. I grinned, "Not yet, but real soon now." She nodded and smiled.

It's mildly odd for me, sometimes, realizing that billions of women have gone through all of this. It's nothing that is unique to me. One lady co-worker said, "I know that millions and millions of women have done the same, but, for me, it was still one of the greatest things I've ever done." with regards to labor and giving birth. Such a mundane thing that is still so fraught with fear and joy and wonder.

It was also very interesting, in all this time, even including a few months before I even got pregnant to hear two different people saying that they thought my having a child was a waste of my life, of my time, that I have so many 'better things' that I could be doing. It was obvious that they found no wonder with any of this, and, if anything, they thought I was contributing to the overpopulation of the world. It was also pretty obvious that no matter what I said or what I might bring forth as argument, they wouldn't see any different. Especially when one of them was saying that all his friends were too sensible to do something as stupid as having a kid. Of course, they are all a decade younger than me, and in my twenties, I too was too sensible to have a kid while I was that unstable. It'll be interesting to see where they all are in a decade or so.

I, rather obviously, don't find this a waste of my time. Then again, I've tried a number of the things they haven't even thought about, and delved into a lot of activities and found that, likely, having a kid really is my next step in learning about life.

John was much, much better. He even made a joke about feeling good enough now to actually be able to make it through labor and a delivery.

He made taco salad while I put my feet up and just felt exhausted. I watched a little TV, and he got dinner on the table and that made me very happy. Eating was good. I was mildly worried about the Lush bath bombs, so I finally screwed up my courage and put a Big Blue into a good, hot bath. John was highly entertained by the fizzing lump, and it turned all the water Mediterranean blue and left a good handful of seaweed bits scattered all over the bottom of the tub. It was far less scented than I had feared, mostly just lavender and lemon, brighter scents, and when I got into the gently steaming tub, I could still breath. That was a relief.

The water was also hot enough to make every muscle melt. I was so glad. The last bath I'd drawn, I'd drawn a bit too cool for really relaxing into, and it was nice to know that I'd gotten it right this time. I nearly fell asleep in the tub, and stayed until it started getting too cool for me. Took me a little extra time to clean all the seaweed out, but it was well worth it. I went to bed warm and happy and John cuddled up happily as well.

I woke up at 11. The usual bathroom thing, but only an hour after going to sleep. That was mildly unusual, and when I tried to get up my right side twinged a lot. I got up okay, did stuff, and I snuggled back into warm blankets and went back to sleep. I woke up again and, this time my right side would not let me roll over. I blinked a bit and realized that I was in pretty serious pain. Heh. It was a real contraction, I guess. The whole structure around the Fish was rock solid, and I felt like I'd always felt when my digestive system was rebelling against something I'd done in the last day. Nothing I could ever do about those other than swear and breath and get through it. The pain was just like that, but even after John helped me roll over and get up and I got to the toilet, the pain kept going, peaked and then stuttered to a stop. There was a small pool of pain still just above my pelvis that lingered for a while. There was no obvious relief as with my digestive problems, and I tried going back to bed again, but on tensing muscles to let myself down gently, it started up again.

So I went back to the bathroom and this time my whole body just started shaking. I don't know exactly why, but just long shudders that were almost like I was too cold. I just let them go through. Nothing to do about it but shake for a while, and then burrow back into the warmth of the bed and John to warm up. About twenty minutes later, another pain peak arrived, this time I just stayed in bed and breathed through it. Three minutes long, John said, as he timed it through.

By this point some part of my brain is saying, "Okay this is it." Another part was rolling its eyes and thinking about how it'll look in the morning to Boss Bill when the email of my delivery comes by well before we even have the meeting on the last feature I'm supposed to deliver before the delivery. Another is eyeing the clock and how tired I am and figuring we'll make it but it's going to be pretty hard without sleep, so that part makes it so that when this third peak softens I actually just fall asleep.

An hour later, and I'm awake again. John's gently snoring. We're both good and warm. I'd turned the heat up in the bathroom in case the cold was what gave me the shudders, so I just go and do the normal stuff this time. No strains, no pains other than the habitually stiff hands. I make it back to bed and nothing hurts. Another hour, another trip. Then two before I wake again. Then it's morning and we've gotten through the night and nothing more has happened, other than the simple fact that I think I now know what a real contraction is going to feel like in my body. A good thing to learn, I think. So it looks like my body is practicing in earnest, and it's likely to be *real* soon now...

[ Previous | Next | Index | Mail ]