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June 5, 2001
a year ago
three years ago

DIA, Doc, and Din

A crowded day today, though we'd planned for it it still overflowed a little, though it worked out just fine in the end.

We had to meet up with John's brother Paul, Jan, and Marina, their daughter while they had a layover at DIA between 1 and 3. We wanted to be there early to be sure we were there on time, and we had to leave at 2 to try and get to Jet's appointment with Dr. Turner at 3 to get checked up and stuck with more booster immunizations. The feedings went kind of strange in the morning when Jet got up a bit before six, and wanted to eat pretty badly at eight.

Last night was strange having John get up and help when Jet got up. We got done a lot quicker, but when we went back to bed, John couldn't go to sleep and I had a hard time, too, as I'd pumped just an hour before Jet got up. Too tired to wake up at the time I usually do, I guess.

Jet was fine, went back to sleep really easily after the feeding, though he'd had a hard time last night getting to sleep. It was really funny to realize that I really missed my late night time with him, for all that I didn't get the sleep it was something I could make up during the day if John was really well rested, and with Jet at Joan's I could even have a nap with no one in the house! That might be mildly amazing.

Anyway, I should have been exhausted this morning, but I wasn't. I even made chocolate donuts for breakfast after John had gotten some Starbuck's coffee. I'd drunk some soy chai that was pretty good and only had a tenth the caffiene of coffee, but that was enough, now, to get me clearheaded and going.

The feedings finally synched up just before leaving, by my feeding Jet for forty five minutes. I think he actually gets more milk from me than the pump ever can as he probably ate the whole time he was on, and the pump dries things up after ten to fifteen minutes.

We left for the airport and got there nearly forty-five minutes early. So we got to eat lunch at the airport and I tried to feed Jet for a bit, but he just fussed and wanted to look around. So we just held him in our arms instead of the sling and he happily looked at everything while we made our way out to the terminal and the gate that they were arriving at. We arrived just as folks were coming off the plane.

Perfect timing. Paul took Jet happily and John and he talked the whole walk back to the main terminal. Paul put Jet up on his shoulders for a while, supporting his back with one hand and Jet looked really happy. He could see all kinds of things. We walked by a display of quilted art in all kinds of colors and Jet peered thoughtfully at them from his perch as Paul bent to inspect them. That surprised me mildly, but it was also very cool.

Marina was keen. So much bigger than Jet, starting to talk in big rushes of almost sentences. She would fling herself into everything. She raced around, kicked a lot, stomped about without regard for other feet. When we got to the main terminal and the backpacks were put down, she pulled everything out of the backpacks. All that energy. It's funny to think of Jet being like that in only a bit more than a year.

It was really fun to talk with Paul and Jan about being parents, about how we were fitting work in around parenthood, and all that kind of stuff. It was good to catch up with them, too, but interesting to have the conversation about the new important things in our lives.

It was only for an hour, but it was an hour well spent, and then we took off for Longmont and Dr. Turner.

Now, DIA is a good hour from our house, and Dr. Turner's clinic is about twenty minutes in the opposite direction from DIA. We had a freeway to help us part of the way, but we were still about fifteen minutes late with traffic and a train that blocked part of the path. The train wasn't going anywhere, so we had to backtrack and take one of the backroads instead.

I napped while I could in the car. That was useful.

We got there fifteen minutes late, and John took Jet in while I registered and paid the co-pay. They brought Jet in with John and when I had the reciept I went back as well and the nurse took that after having gotten Jet's measurements.

Wow. That grocery store scale is about right. He had moved up amid the averages on all his measurements. He was 14 lbs and 6 ounces with his diaper, and in the fortieth percentile. He was in the twenty-fifth percentile with a height of 23.5 inches. He is perfectly average with his head circumference of 42.2 cm. Pretty cool. His head is growing faster than the rest of him.

John and I had taken Joan and Ray's advice and dosed Jet with Tylenol four hours before the checkup and John gave Jet another dose in the office just before Jet got his shots. Poor Jet, he got the same four shots he got last time, and the nurse was really fast with it, but they still hurt. He cries tears now, and his face was completely wet with them when John handed him over to me. I hugged him and comforted him and he gradually quieted down.

Poor kid. Thing is that once he quieted and sat in in his car seat he started smiling at me. Dr. Turner said that it'd be fine to give Jet solid food, now, so long as we only introduced one new one every three or four days. She said that cereals, fruits and vegetables would be just fine to start and at six months we'd try meats. She said it might help with sleeping all night if he was getting up hungry. Since Jet was so happy and doing so well, we decided to stop by the Safeway to buy him some baby food.

We did. One of each of the baby's first food jars from an organic baby food company. The firsts are foods that aren't blended with anything else. Just six of them, but that will be plenty to experiment with for Jet. I figure he's still got his push food out of his mouth reflex, and he can't quite sit up yet, but he likes the tastes of new things. So that should be fun to do with him.

Yay! Introducing him to food is just a really cool concept.

He did great at the store, and only started fussing on the way home. He fussed for a good five minutes straight, not really *crying* at all, but just fussing and yelling some. He then went to sleep becaues we coudln't do anything for him. So he really can put himself to sleep, but only after a lot of yelling.

When home I fed him and he really snuggled in tight as he wasn't feeling all that good. John then took him and I slept for a solid hour and slept hard. I needed it. I heard Jet yelling very faintly, the boys had gone downstairs as Jet wasn't feeling all that good, and John put cold clothes on his legs. While Jet ate again I read the Sears' Baby Book and blinked a lot at what it said as what it said was exactly what we were experiencing and they had a really good explaination of why it was happening.

So it turns out that the medical term 'sleeps through the night' is defined as sleeping for five hours!! So Jet has been doing that since he was three months old, definitely. It also outlined the tradeoff of teaching a baby to sleep by themselves and the types of needs kids have.

I realized that I'd been rather obsessed by it because I'd believed that Jet wasn't doing what 90% of his age group were doing, when, in fact, he really is doing what most babies do. Getting to sleep with parental help isn't bad in and of itself, it is more work for the parent, but the baby seems to sleep more easily and without so much conflict every night. Most of the 'getting baby to sleep themselves' techniques are basically variations of 'ignore the crying' for more or less time, and the vague feeling I was having of 'is it making him independent too soon' was actually reflected in the book!

That amazed me and made me feel a lot better. I think the balance of having both the Sears book and the Pediatrics book is really good. Kind of like the balance between making baby too dependent and forcing baby to be too independent. Having both means I can figure it out.

Jet had a really sad evening. John cooked our steak from Safeway, grilled asparagus, and baked onion rings. He ate while I comforted a crying, sad Jet, and then he took his turn while I ate. But then John put Jet in the swing and Jet fell asleep. I halfway wondered if that was a mistake as it was pretty late in the evening, but he was so unhappy, it seemed wrong to wake him up.

So I got to write a bit.

We fed him a bit later than usual, at 9:15 instead of 8:45 and when we were done and we tried a bit more in another bottle. John put him in the swing and he went to sleep, and when I picked him up he woke up for a bit, but with a bit of walking and cuddling as he cried he gradually quieted and went to sleep again. He woke up just a bit when I put him down, but then settled and went back to sleep.

I think, for me, this part of his life is when I can enjoy him being small and dependent on me. I don't really want to hurry his independence, though I'll definitely take what he gives me of it when it's unforced, i.e. he isn't crying his head off because of it. I think him doing well at Joan's really meant that that was an okay thing for us to do, individually and uniquely okay for us. Just as getting up in the middle of the night is something I'll choose to do, not only for him but for me. That quiet time in the dark is just so nice, sometimes, after a really hectic or full day of things that have to be done at a certain time. The half an hour gained by parallel feeding him just doesn't really matter that much to me.

The things one learns. I don't want to regret missing the time with him later, so I'll take this for now and think differently about getting up at night. When I wrote that someday I'd miss not getting up, I think I really meant it. I just needed to think of it in the now, i.e. I could enjoy it, now. Especially since, on the most part, I do get enough sleep, and I can agree with John to make sure that I do when Jet does get up twice in a night, especially when John's gotten a full night's sleep. That is a better long-term solution.

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