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February 22, 2002
two years ago
three years ago
four years ago

Fruits of Conflict

I spent way too much time today on-line after a rather intense set of letters. So it is.

I managed to get some work done, and Jet had a great, long morning with Joan and then slept for us really well, as he'd been chasing five kids all morning. In the afternoon, John took him for an hour, and then I took Jet for two, and then Jet went back to sleep. So I had a lot of time.

But I only did a bare minimum for work, and then tended to some loose ends that really needed tending. There seem to be some after affects of ending the relationship that I really needed to take care of. It is working out well, but now I remember what it's like to set aside my real life for someone outside it, and why it is that I am glad that I don't do that as much anymore.

It was, however, very good to spend *some* time on-line with Hordlings, Genevieve, and a few others. I enjoyed the time, and enjoyed knowing that people understood how busy I was, and it wasn't an insult to them or a real pain to them that I was gone. While they might miss me, it was obvious that no one was hurting over it, and that was very good to reassure myself of.

Conflict sometimes makes me re-evaluate my priorities, life, and thought. When someone tells me something I believe isn't true, I always test what I think is true with some mind that the outside opinion might be right. It's good, though, to do the test, and be *able* to see when they're wrong. I don't think I could do that before.

It really helps when I take on the other viewpoint and to really look and see why they see things the way that they do and know when they can't see what it is that I'm looking at. Like someone telling me an elephant is a rope and I can feel that it feels a lot more like a tree trunk, and going over to feel what they feel, then stepping back to see if I can't see a bigger picture.

I can now feel, "They're limited, and it's okay."

But it was good to see people again, and it was very good to know that I can get to places where I don't have to have conflict, and it's good to know that there is a place where I belong. That was very nice indeed.

And at 6, the Gibbons family showed up on our doorstep. Three kids and a pizza took care of Jet while all the adults went to Casa de Mina and enjoyed a really excellent Mexican dinner after a walk through Erie.

It was incredibly warm tonight, and we had to wait ten minutes for a table, so we did the walking door of the main street of Erie and pointed out our post office and bank. That was kind of funny.

The service, as ever, was really slow at Casa de Mina, but the food, as ever, was terrific if you ordered the right things, and everyone ordered stuff, this time, that they liked. John got the chile rellenos and was sweating before he was done. Dan got the Pancho Villa steak with cheese stuffed in it and a tequila and bacon sauce over the top. Bonnie got tamales and enjoyed them greatly. I got the fish of the day (mahi mahi) with a chipotle sauce that made me sweat a little. It was good.

It was a relaxing and fun meal and it was good to catch up with them again. We should do that more often. When we got home, all the kids were in the basement. Jet was happy as a clam, and they told us he only cried once, when he fell and he'd gotten a little scared. But other than that, he'd been happy, hadn't cried at all, and had happily played with the big kids all evening.

When he fell asleep, he fell dead asleep and was really, really happy to be asleep. It took, however, a double dose of nursing. He was just really hungry, but when he got a double dose, he went right to sleep

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Copyright 2002 Liralen Li. All Rights Reserved.